He said he didn’t want anymore kids . . .

Hey guys. Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend. As for me, it was so-so. I have a lot to tell you but I don’t know exactly how to word it exactly. Me & the boyfriend (Or should I say ex-boyfriend) broke up once again, but this time its for good. He called me yesterday afternoon and that’s when I decided that we needed to have a talk. I drove over and after a few minutes of waiting, he came out. I told him that I would like to talk to him and that’s what I did. I told him about me not getting my needs and wants met. I became curious and basically was asking if he was cheating on me. He said no and went into this spill about how could he cheat on me when he’s always in the house.I told him I can’t watch him 24/7, I don’t know what he does when I’m not there. I said,
"We never have sex anymore, never go out and you seem fine with that." He told me that the reason the sex stopped is because everytime I would go to his apt, I would instantly take off my clothes. He explained that I never let him ask me to take them off. (How dumb is that?) As for not going anywhere, he blamed that on working 3rd shift. I looked him if he was the dumbest thing on earth. I explained to him that my mother works 3rd and she never once let that stop her from going outside and doing what she wanted to do. I stopped and thought about what I was going to say next. I then asked him the two main things that were on my mind:
Whether  he wanted kids and marriage. I waited and watched as sweat dripped down his face.
He looked at me and told me that no, he didn’t want anymore kids. I was quiet then I asked him if he wanted marriage. He said that he wasn’t thinking that far ahead into the future. I slowly shook my head and looked at him. As I was backing up to my car, I told him right then and there that we couldn’t be together anymore. I said,
"What point would it make for me to stay when you don’t want what I want, I’d be wasting my life on you for nothing. I’m 26, I want kids, I want marriage, I want to graduate college. I want all of that. But if you don’t want that with me, then we can’t do this anymore. I can’t be with someone that doesn’t want those things with me."

He sighed, jumped down from the balcony and asked me if I would at least take him to get his lawn mower. I shrugged and nodded my head. We were quiet all the way there. When we got to one of his lawn mowing clients, I spoke up. I told him that I had to go out of town and that I wouldn’t be staying. Without a word, he took his equipment out of the car. I got out of the car and looked up at him. We stared at each other then I asked him if he was okay. He told me yea, that he knew I was doing what I thought was best for me. Then he told me something that sent up red flags. He looked at me and said, "Look, I know you what all that but to tell you the truth, I resent being a father." I wanted him to keep going. He said that because his father was never around, he didn’t feel like he would be a good dad to his daughter. I didn’t have much to say to that. After not getting a response from me, he kissed me on the forehead and I went on my way. I met up with a friend of mine to get breakfast. Unfortunately, the breakfast never happened. He had to leave town and after awhile I came back after a few hours. We made the mistake of making out after that. I felt guilty but I knew in my head we could never be back together.

Though we talked and kidded around afterwards and we slipped once again and started calling each other "Baby" and "Hon", we knew better. We’re good as friends but as far as who wants more in the relationship, I win hands down. I’m too young to settle down with someone that’s done with having children and doesn’t know whether they want marriage or not. 2 years with someone and you drag them on, leading them to believe that you will one day marry them and them bear your children then have it all come crashing down by them telling you that they don’t want either one, that’s a slap in the face. A painful one at that. My heart still loves and cares for him and always will but I need to find someone that wants the same things. And I know its going to take some time to get over him and stop doing what I used to for him, but it will get done and I will find that person that meets my wants and needs.

Anyway, thank you for reading everyone. Please take care!