College

Today I was browsing as usual and stumbled upon the Clark State Community College that’s near here.
Yet again, I am debating to go to college. Even if its to take one class at a time.
Journalism is what I want to major in but business is always nice.
The only thing about is I don’t have the money for college.
The books’ prices alone would break me. I talked to my mom about it and she said she’d help.
I’m still weary about it. I was never good in school, not even in middle school.
I just don’t want to go and then find out I’m not fit for it to begin with.
That would be a huge disappointment.
Not to say that I haven’t had my share of them this year because I have.
If I do go, I’m not going til spring. Though I’ve said that before.
It came and went. 4 years of it coming and going in fact.
Each year that passed, I came up with some excuse as why I didn’t want to go.
I really don’t have any excuses not to go, not any that are worth saying, seeing as I’ve said them before.
I’m just scared is all. Kinda like getting married.
You’re not sure if its going to work out or not so you put it off and keep putting off
 til you look up and you’re so-and-so age and you’re wondering where the time went.
I can’t deny that I don’t regret going earlier, say . . .
around the age of 19 when I graduated high school.
Some things you just know you’re not ready for. And for me, college is one of them.
I’m not exactly terrified to go. I just have my reservations about it.