10102018

Today I started work at 6:40AM. I didn’t get to finish until 5PM, and even though it’s 7:30 I know the responsible thing to do is to keep working.

But at 5PM today I just felt really depressed. I’ve been working 60hrs per week for weeks now, including having come into work at 3AM last Saturday and working a full shift on Sunday. They didn’t pay me for it either. I’m basically donating my time into this place.
And today I felt that same “pang” after another long and grueling workshift. I just felt really depressed.

It makes me sad. I’m not enjoying my life. I’m stressed and overworked, and I’m constantly wondering if I’m going to get fired. I think– “It only takes one person, my boss, to decide she won’t keep me anymore if she’s not happy with me.”

I really want to get out of this current station in my life. I want things to be better.

I heard on the news that millennials are just now starting to buy houses. They’ve been hit really hard and have yet to recover; they’re buying houses later than other generations. They’ve got less in their savings and retirements than other generations. They’re working three jobs just to make ends meet because they haven’t the luxury of just one.

I’m feeling the pain as well, even though I’m pushing hard every day. My job leaves me exhausted though. By the time I get home, which is usually around 8-830, I barely have time to eat until it’s time to sleep because I have to be up by 430.

I don’t have a life outside this job. I’m deeply depressed and it’s getting worse; it’s affecting my relationships and I’m unhappy. But I’ve got bills to pay and mouths to feed, and I just feel like I have no choice.