All I Can Do

Maybe this is just because I’m sick. Maybe I’m delusional. I feel like I don’t know anything about life anymore. Faith is an odd thing. Even when I feel like quitting, faith is there pulling me along. Like it’s not necessarily my faith, but faith itself that keeps me going. There are still so many things I don’t know, and so many things I fear I will never know. God has been trying to reach me, trying to reasure me He still loves me. I know He does, but often I feel so unworthy of love that it is really difficult to feel it, to feel that He loves me. What helps me more is to remind myself that He has a plan for me. That seems easier for me to grasp than His love for me. So I focus on the unknown plan. I’m starting to feel that by the time I graduate, I’ll have some serious decisions to make. Maybe even leaving my current city. Only God knows. We’ll see what happens. For now, I’m trying to trust, trying to let myself feel God’s love, trying to love others.