Road Rage, Frustration and mixed feelings *edit*
the quote of the day: “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience” Eleanor Roosevelt
This morning was interesting, to say the least. Devon and I left the house early so we could make her bi-weekly stop to Amscot before work. Then we stopped at McD’s to buy breakfast (it’s not on my diet, but I’ve been good, leave me alone) and continued towards her pre-school so I could drop her off. We went down a small side street to avoid the traffic, and that’s when things started getting weird. It was cloudy and rainy, and still pitch dark at 7:10 in the morning, so I had my brights on. The street we were on was very dark and I couldn’t see much, and it was a little hazy. In front of us was a TruGreen lawn care truck. It must have been going under 10 miles an hour. I thought maybe he was lost, and couldn’t find an address he was looking for, so I tapped my horn to see if I could go around him. He went slower. Since it was a two lane street, and there were cars coming, I tapped my horn again, thinking he, like most normal people, would pull over and let me pass. Well….no. He stopped in the middle of the frigging street, got out of his truck, approached my car and began screaming and cursing at me because I honked at him, and I had my brights on. First of all, his driver’s side mirror was not in view, and there was no window on the back of the van, so my lights couldn’t have been any kind of factor as to why he was driving so slow. Second of all – it is ridiculously stupid to get out of a company vehicle, in your company uniform to perform road rage on another driver. So I called the company and spoke to their management about what happened. They assured me it would be dealt with immediately and that it was completely unacceptable behavior. I’m not holding my breath. But dude, seriously?
Yesterday was a weird day. Late in the afternoon, I started to get a weird vibe that I couldn’t identify. The reason behind it became all to clear, soon enough. I picked Devon up from work, since it was a non-gym day. We decided to go to Mo’s for dinner for tacos since our oven doesn’t seem to be working properly. On the way, she gets a call from Leighann. (This is the “best friend” Leighann – the one who got married in August of last year, and therefore made the entire year all about her with 3 bridal showers, one of which being a cruise to the Bahamas, the wedding was a complete disaster, and not even 2 months ago, the word “divorce” was common in her vocabulary. The one who had 4 birthday parties, the one who steamrolls everyone Else’s plans, etc.) Leighann took 3 pregnancy tests and they all came out positive. Fantastic. They’ve been actively trying to have a baby for a couple months now. But then, the icing on the cake – one of the first things out of her mouth was something to the effect of “well…since I’ll be 8-9 months pregnant in September and can’t fly, would you consider moving the date of your wedding so I can go?”. Um. No. Absolutely not. And seriously, how much balls does it even take to ASK someone that. My wedding is NOT all about you, it’s about me and Devon. It’s our day. Not yours. I’m sorry if you won’t be able to make it, but since it is out of state, a lot of our friends probably won’t be able to go – which is why we’re having a separate reception here in Florida afterwards. You’ll just have to be like everybody else and come to that party. Honestly, it was infuriating on many levels. Firstly, Devon and I just recovered from a year all about her. Everything was wedding, and planning and doing things she wanted. Devon had a meltdown afterwards because of all the stress. I don’t want us to go through that again – ESPECIALLY since our wedding is this year. Secondly – I’m not a person who likes to make everything all about me, and I don’t particularly enjoy being the center of attention much – but I thought, maybe, given everything Devon did for Leighann last year, that part of this year MIGHT just be all about us and our happiness. But, no. Again, it’s all about Leighann. She was on the wedding train last year, and now she’s on the baby train. I know she didn’t get pregnant just to outshine us or top us, that’s silly. But it kind of feels that way. She KNEW when the wedding was. If she was so concerned about going, why did she and James not put off trying to get pregnant just for a month or two – that way, she would still be in the second trimester and would be fine to travel in September? I’m not saying that her choices and her life should be all about us, but she DID put herself in this position. And I’m not really sure how you go from not being able to stand 15 minutes with your new husband in one sitting to buying a house and having a baby, all in a two month period. It seems a little extreme to me. I’m happy for her, that she’s going to have a baby, and I do think that her and James could make good parents, but it’s frustrating to the extreme.
I plan on going home for some serious cuddle time, and probably some serious conversations with my tequila. This has been the longest, most stressful week in awhile, and I’m glad it’s coming to an end. Now if only it would end a tad more quickly, that would be fantastic.
On top of all that, as if that wasn’t enough, I was irritated with the way she told Devon as well. I used to work in food service, so coming from that background, I developed a very specific pet peeve when it comes to people ordering take out or in a restaurant. I hated it when people would come into my store to order, and be talking on their cell phone. They wouldn’t put the phone down, or pause their conversation to order, they would just point and grunt at me, and continue on with their call. It annoys the shit out of me, and I can tell when it annoys other people. Well, when Leighann called, we were just getting ready to go in. Leighann asked her for once where she was and what she was doing, and so Devon told her – and then Leighann proceeded to tell her anyway, despite the fact that Devon was ordering around her, etc. I think it’s common courtesy, if you know someone is ordering food, etc, to say “okay, I’ll wait” or “call me right back” not just continue talking in the background like nothings happening. And yes, I was a touch irritate at Devon for doing it. Her excuse was “well my best friend just found out she was pregnant. I know it was rude, but I wasn’t going to hang up on her or anything”. I get that, I really really do. But Leighann has a consistent lack of consideration for anyone else, and it just is another example to me of how self-centered and obtusely unaware of any one else around her, and what they’re doing. I felt bad – the people at Mo’s were clearly irritated, but polite. I felt for them. Maybe it’s just me, and I have an unusual sense of decency or consideration, but if I call someone and they tell me they’re about to order food, etc, I’ll call them back later. I even feel bad being on my phone in the check out line at the supermarket, although I’m guilty of that myself. It’s just a big pet peeve for me. Perhaps its unrealistic of me, but I can’t help the way I feel.
Devon and I got home and we talked about all this, we discussed our feelings, and she feels much the same way, with mixed feelings about thewhole thing, etc. She talked to her mother about it, who laughed at the audacity of that girl to even suggest such a thing. But after that, when we’re quieting down for the evening, she says “you know, if you want to, I’m not telling you that you should or anything, but you could, you know, text Leighann and tell her congrats.” I just looked at her. She explained that she doesn’t know why she cares so much about what Leighann thinks, but that she is so protective of me (with Leighann especially due to past issues) that she doesn’t want to give her any “ammunition” to talk badly about me or to not like me, and that if I didn’t congratulate her, that she might go around telling people about it in a negative manner, since I’m one of the only few people who know at the moment. And that rubbed me the complete wrong way – a lot more than I let on. I don’t give a fuck what Leighann thinks of me anymore, because of the past, and her behavior in general. She’s not the type of person I would choose to surround myself with, but I have to be nice and tolerate her because she is a part of Devon’s life. I was hurt, that I felt like Devon thought I needed to be told to be nice. I didn’t want to text her. I did anyway, because it mattered to Devon. But in retrospect, that was probably codependent of me, to do what Devon wanted out of Devon’s codependency with Leighann. She does that periodically. She’ll tell me to say goodbye when we’re leaving somewhere. she’ll elbow me and tell me to say thank you, etc. It makes me feel shitty. Eh…I dunno.
I love the girl to death. If that’s her biggest flaw, I think we’re good. Just sayin’.