Reasons why Yesterday Sucked

“if you love large, you’ve got to hurt large. If you’ve got a lot of light, you’ve probably got an equal amount of darkness” Sarah McLachlan

The epic OD entry of awesome full of pictures and information about our weekend getaway is still forthcoming. However, ever since returning home, it’s been one catastrophe after another. It started on Monday, really, when we saw the worst movie in theaters possible – “Don’t be Afraid of the Dark” with Katie Holmes. Don’t waste your money. Really. Unless you like evil tooth fairies. I wish I was kidding. Then our air conditioner froze – literally, and maintenance had to wait for it to defrost before they could look at it, so we had 4 hours of sweltering heat, and a hyperactive tiny dog that we’re dogsitting for another one of Devon’s friends. We tried to lock her in the bathroom overnight, but she scratched at the door and cried until we allowed her into our room to sleep with us. But on to yesterday.

1) Woke up to thunder and lighting (it was frightening, you better knock, knock, knock on wood) but no rain – until we were leaving the house, where we encountered a tropical monsoon, which meant more traffic.

2) I was soaking wet, running from the parking lot to the office and it was one of the days that the air conditioner decided to work really well, so for the first third of the day I was freezing cold and miserable.

3) work was work. Nothing horrible stands out but it wasn’t a pile of peach pie either.

4) I got rained on again when I got home, going from the car to the house.

5) When I got home from the fitness center after a workout, Miley (the dog that we’re babysitting) dashed out the front door, down the stairs and through the apartment complex and I caught her just as she was about to hit a major highway. For a tiny little dog with very short legs, she runs with a quickness.

6) Cats hate dog. Dog is confused by cats. Chaos ensues.

7) The brand new true blood dvds I got for Devon have a skipping problem. Or it’s my Dvd player. Either way, they don’t work properly.

8) The game I’ve been exited for all year’s release date was postponed from yesterday to October 11th. Postponed for the 6th time.

9) Devon got anxious about a pain in the back of her head or her neck, and couldn’t really eat.

10) Booger peed on Devon, while she was laying on the couch.

11) We went to bed at 10:30, and woke up at 1 am – the air conditioner was frozen. Again. And the bedroom was simply too hot to sleep in. Devon went to sleep on the couch, then came to fetch me and we slept on the couch together.

It feels like there should be more. It felt like more, as if that wasn’t enough. But onto today – Devon still isn’t feeling well, as she hasn’t been for a month or so now, and she’s considering going to the hospital tonight for bloodwork. And I’m freaking out, not knowing if it’s just her anxiety talking – or if they’re going to find something, no matter how minor…. I just want her to be okay. She apologized today for being such a buzzkill lately, and that’s not the problem. The problem is she isn’t feeling right, and she can fake it all she wants, but I know it – and I want her to be healthy. She told me that she loves me so much and honestly doesn’t know what she’d do without me. That someday she will get her crap together so she can be the strong one for me….so on top of how bad she feels, she feels bad about how she thinks I feel. And I just love her enough to want her to be okay. I miss my girlfriend. I’ve seen bits and pieces of her here and there. We’ve had wonderful moments that I’m not diminishing or taking for granted. But she’s not the same girl I know and love really. And I want her back. I want the anxiety spell to pass ( I know it won’t go away completely, for good – it never does, and she’s dealt with it all her life) and I want her to be her happy, normal self. I love her. And I want her to be okay. Maybe it’s a partially selfish reason, I don’t know. All I know is I hope everything is okay.