Muted Joy and Anticipation

The constant anthem and refrain of the last month between the two of us has been a rousing chorus of “I can’t wait…I honestly can’t wait”. And the frequency and intensity of these sentiments have grown exponentially in the weeks leading up to almost this moment. I almost feel, in a way, that although I’ve been walking this beautiful road for months now, I am standing at the edge – like the road approached a slight garden kissing gate, blocking the path beyond, and I’m at the gate now – at the doorway to a whole new world, and not only am I standing here, but my hand is clenched equally tightly in hers, and we were given the key to the lock and all that’s left is to just open the door, and plant our feet on the continuing path beyond. The stress, for the most part, has lifted. Although I feel busy as hell, with lots going on in every available moment, I’ve found a sense of calm. There’s really nothing more for me to do. A few things left to pack that are non-essentials, but only one or two boxes full. Then the essentials. Then all that’s left to do is actually move it. 9 days from today. And, once again. I can’t wait. I absolutely cannot wait.

This weekend is going to be long, and hopefully relaxing. Devon will be dropped off at my place on Saturday morning, leaving me Friday night to take the cats for their shots (by myself, oh joy) finish up and relax with a game or two of heroes to occupy me. We plan on spending the majority of the day relaxing and resting, followed by a dinner for which I’ve already made a reservation for, and a quiet, romantic evening where we focus on us, the relationship and just enjoying it. The rest of the weekend, including Monday will contain the celebration of our last weekend in my little apartment and a possible trip to Bush Gardens to see the new cheetah exhibit, and go on the new coaster. I don’t really know what to expect. I’m going into it with no expectations, except just enjoyment, relaxation and laughter. All the rest is just detail.

Next week will be hectic and chaotic, but I will be busy enough that I’m hoping it will fly by. And then Monday, when she returns, we will be together, in our new house together. Even if it’s just to say hello, kiss, and pass out together in front of the tv.

There’s so much I feel like I should be saying, but I’m at a very rare loss for words. Strange, that.

I’ve started to wonder though…what causes some periods to be so wonderful for some…and so miserable for others. How much can one person take, of either before the balance shifts?