I’m an Island

I’ve often wondered about Islands, and the more I think about them, the more my head hurts. Firstly, what holds them up? Secondly, what keeps them from floating all over the ocean like gigantic boats? I don’t get what anchors them in place like that.

The weekend did not feel like a weekend at all, between me having to work on Saturday morning, then spending the next two days moving all of the rest of Devon’s things over to officially “our” home. On Saturday, we loaded everything small that we could in the car, and dismantled a few of the larger items to get ready for the big day on Sunday. This also included dragging a million pound couch out to the dumpster halfway across the complex (okay, really it was the next drive over, but it FELT like it was miles away when two people are push/pulling a million pound couch). We got it done, made a million trips to the dumpster, and cleaned up a little bit before calling it a day and heading out to find new clothes for the holiday party – Devon got a beautiful dress and I got a new shirt, tie and dress pants. I was nervous going, as Devon wasn’t too “out” at work, working at a preschool and all, but even her conservative bosses seemed to like me. We weren’t there for very long – maybe until 10, before we called it a day and went back home. On Sunday, we picked up our uhaul pickup truck (complete with lesbian stereotype) which I was nervous about driving at first, but ended up absolutely loving it. We got all the big items – dresser, mattress, table, end stands etc in one trip, got them back to the house and got a volunteer neighbor boy to help us carry the big ones upstairs – thank god for mike. Our house at this point was starting to look like an episode of hoarders, with random furniture piled everywhere, boxes, bags, messes etc. I think the cats had a stroke. After that, we went back to the old place again to clean, and I took a couple more loads of little stuff in the car while she cleaned up. After that, it was done.

We got back to our place and started the transition clean up process – doing the laundry – organizing the furniture in the bedroom to accommodate everything and move things around. I didn’t go to work yesterday because all the physical exertion seemed to make my cold come back full force and I had a hacking cough. I stayed in bed until 11:30 which felt like heaven to me, then got up, picked up Devon who took a half day off of work herself, and we came back home to begin the rearranging of the living room, and do MORE laundry. I get a drawer in her dresser, since she was sharing one of mine in the interim. that’s pretty exciting. We moved around the living room furniture several times, took the lizard from the bedroom into the living room, set everything up…and collapsed. For the rest of the evening we took it easy – hung pictures a dozen times – Devon likes to change her mind – and finally settled in to a new place called home.

Work today has been crazy – missing a day while it was in my best interest at the times seems to have bitten me in the rear. We’re in the middle of year end in accounting, on top of getting ready to run out a new version of our payables program, so we’re all testing in the test environment. The next two months at work are going to be hell on earth, since I’m the only vendor person, and every vendor we have to pay is going to be set up brand new and nothing is coming over. It’s going to keep me busy. They’re joking (I think) but someone offered to bring me a sleeping bag to keep here to make my life a little easier if I don’t ever have to leave. I don’t think Devon would like that plan.

At home, we’re settling into the new reality of our joint home and joint life, with little pieces of both of us strewn throughout. It’s a work in progress. I’m excited for all we accomplished, this was one major step and major hurdle accomplished. Up next right around the corner is Christmas, complete with a Bush Gardens trip and a Holiday Ham that Devon has been talking about all year. After that, it’s a brand new year, and wedding plans and financial combining get to go on full swing. We’ll handle those bridges (or jump off of them) when we get to them. All in all, despite the minor instances of stress, things are looking bright.

But I feel like an island today, at work. Me against the world, buffeted by the waves, kind of being tossed whatever way the wind blows. I wish the wind would be a bit more gentle. I have a lot to do, and not a lot of time to do it in, and it makes me feel defensive and isolated. I think it’s a natural defense mechanism for me to get like this, but I don’t necessarily like it anymore. I liked being an army of two… just right now…I feel kind of alone. this will get infinitely better once I’m on my way home.