Expansion on the Theme
Weekends seem to go by so quickly these days. For the most part, Devon and I hung out at home, finally got our Ikea delivery (that we ordered the first week of December), went over to Scam’s house to watch Prey (the video game) and spend some time with them. They may be moving to Long Island soon for Cam’s job, so we’re taking every opportunity we have to spend time with them and Charlie before that happens. I’m bummed I may be losing my one, nerdy video game friend in the area, but I’m thrilled that he may be getting the promotion that he deserves.
While my first entry made everything sound all sweet and rosy, everyone knows that life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine all of the time. I’ve battled with depression all my life, and last week I finally went back on medication for it. The decision to go back on meds wasn’t an easy one for me, but I know it’s the right one. I’m doing everything right. I’ve lost almost 60 pounds total in over a year. I’m exercising at least 6 times a week. I’m getting my steps in, I’m eating healthy, I’m attempting to manage my stress – but things get overwhelming a lot of the time. I found myself getting frustrated for no reason a lot. I’d go from zero to sixty in seconds. I rarely took it out on anyone but myself, but I hated feeling that way. The sadness and feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing were getting worse, and the encroaching thoughts were happening more frequently. It’s better for me to try the medicine again, and it’s better for the people in my life closest to me.
I’m halfway through my second to last class at school and I just don’t have the energy, motivation or will to put the effort into it that it deserves. War and Society II just doesn’t do it for me. The first class should have been one of my favorites, but the teacher sucked and it just stole all the joy of the subject away from me. And war after 1800 just seems so much less interesting – instead of catapults and trebuchets and knights on horseback, there are merely guns, bombs and more mass destruction on a much broader scale. The good news is that there are only 5 weeks left, and my final project will be nothing like my capstone project. The bad news is that there are 5 weeks left before I can start on the class I’m seriously looking forward to as my last term at SNHU begins.
The A/C on our floor at work was out this morning. It’s starting to get cooler now, but if that’s any indication of how this week is going to go, I’m thinking I should just head home.