can I just sit a moment…

…and be grateful

The past few weeks have been blissful and amazing. Every day I am startled by the mere fact of my happiness and the certainty of a future that I no longer have to wonder or worry about. Devon and I have these in-depth conversations almost daily, along with blissful revelations in unexpected moments. Knowing the joy of our life together and our plans for both the near and not-so distant future, and the rest of our lives. The first few days of December were intense and surprising, catching us both off guard, but loving every moment of it. We’ve grown so much closer than we ever dreamed, physically and emotionally and the low part of both of our days is the moment I drop her off at work in the morning. We have spent time catching up on our conversations, balancing our life at work and home with more quality time and also time apart. We are moving the rest of her things from her old apartment, commonly referred to as “the closet” to our home over the weekend. She is not as prepared for moving as I was, even though she had longer. But we’ll get it done – we always do. Christmas is right around the corner, and December is lighting up with plans, hopes and aspirations for the year to come. Interestingly, but not something we will do any time soon, we seem to have found a plausible and willing donor for when we want to have children. A guy I work with, Justin, is from a very open family and is a genuinely nice guy. Devon also says he’s adorable, and he’s a funny guy to have around. But in a discussion during the week as we were talking about eventually wanting to start a family together, he admitted that he would be open and honored to be a donor if we wished. Now, every time we see each other at work, he says “hi, baby momma”. His would-be girlfriend thinks its adorable as well. I guess we’ll see what happens as time progressive. We have far too much to plan and save for now to be worried about that.

Tonight is the Christmas production for Devon’s school, which I will be attending. I’m excited to see the kids I’ve heard so much about, as they perform “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, as well as seeing the other classes perform. After the show, tonight has potential to be..promising. Our intimacy level has increased multiple times with our continuing closeness and it’s always an undercurrent in our lives and conversations. She laughs and says we never really got out of the “honeymoon” phase in our relationship. We had a month or so of reality during her anxiety, and during the hectic time both pre and post bestie’s wedding. But we got back into the swing of things, falling more in love daily and proclaiming it every chance we get. Saturday night is Devon’s company Christmas party – one that we didn’t think we would be attending, since she’s not “out” at work. But, two different co-workers have approached her, telling her that they’re bringing their partners with them as well and asking us to come. So at the moment, it looks like we will be making an appearance at the very least. At the eve of our 11 month mark, things are stronger, more stable and more fulfilling than I knew possible. It’s a truly wonderful thing.

In January, we need to get on the ball. We have made preliminary wedding plans, made a few calls, gotten a few estimates, etc. but with 9 months to go and counting, it’s really time to get things moving. We have calls out to her family up north to see if they know contacts etc. I think the most expensive thing for the whole wedding will be the tent rental and the dance floor. Also, instead of registering for gifts, we will be opening a paypal account that people can donate to, which can be put towards the honeymoon, etc. Since the majority of people won’t be able to go, since it would mean traveling across the country, they have expressed interest in doing that instead. Maybe we’ll skype the wedding – it should be a beautiful event. It’s looking like the official date is Sept 15 (our anniversary day anyway) 2012. Our honeymoon will be a meandering journey – one night in Camden, Maine. One night in Portland, Maine, which will hopefully be our future home, then time in Salem, Boston and Provincetown Massachusetts, and possibly even Martha’s Vineyard.

Lots going on…but it’s all beautiful and breathtaking. I know now what it means to be happy. I understand. And I love every moment.