2nd date in review

We had plans for dinner tonight, and i wasn’t really sure what to expect, since she hasn’t been feeling that great. I picked her up at 7 (actually I got there about half an hour early, not knowing what kind of traffic to expect on US 19 at rush hour, so I sat in the parking lot of the strip mall next door for awhile and talked to D and listened to music before calling her to get directions into her apartment complex). She showed me part of her apartment and I got introduced to her roomates dog, which was cool. Our first choice for dinner was a no go, as the restaurant had gone out of business. So we headed to a bbq place up the road a ways. Conversation was good, little pauses. I could tell she still wasn’t feeling well, and she looked really tired, but she said that she refused to cancel on me twice in a row, which I guess is a good thing. Dinner was good. I did a lot of talking, which is surprising for me – she asked me about group, and I told her some of what was said last night, as well as some of the stuff going on internally. She talked to me about where she is right now, and how she feels at the age of 31 it’s time to start figuring out where she’s headed and what she wants in the next 5 years and all. It’s a good, mature thing to do. I was slightly nervous, perhaps because her personality did seem different from the first time we went out, but she totally chalks that up to being sick and says that she gets like this when she doesn’t feel well – and I totally get that. We stopped at CVS on the way back to her house so she could get some medicine, then headed home so I could drop her off. As we sat in the car in her apartment complex, she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek again, and then just continued to sit there, and we stared at each other and laughed every time we caught eyes…it wasn’t awkward at all, just strange feeling. And one of the times we were laughing, I told her to “come here” so I could hug her again, which turned into our first kiss…it was nice. Better than I imagined anyway. We continued to sit there for a bit, and then somehow the subject of personal energy fields and magic came up, so we got out of the car, and I tried to explain and show her about a person’s natural energy field. Then she took off, and I headed home. I’m invited (specifically requested) over to her best friend’s – the fiercely over-protective one – house on Friday evening for game night. And yes, according to Spike it counts as a 3rd date. Over the weekend, she says she wants to escape, as her roomate surprised her today with the news that her parents were visiting – and they were staying in their apartment. So maybe she’ll make it over this way for our movie date that we missed last weekend, but we’ll see. Hell, if I get to see her both tonight and Friday, that would be pretty sweet, let alone any time over the weekend.

Overall it was a good, albeit short night. But I’m okay with that. I’m taking everything in balanced flow, I’m starting to believe again, and I’m taking it one hour – one day at a time.

In other news, feeling helpless in another person’s situation sucks. I didn’t realize how bad it could suck until last night. I knew D’s dad wasn’t doing so well – he had been in the hospital when I was up in Michigan over Thanksgiving, but had since come home. At 4:30 in the morning I got a phone call that he had passed away shortly before. It’s heartbreaking to see my best friend go through this and not be there. I know there’s nothing really I can do, especially being 1500 miles away, but it doesn’t mean I stop wanting to. I know what it feels like to lose someone, although I haven’t lost a parent. Even though my parents weren’t the epitome of perfection, it will still be hard for me to experience their loss. But I do know what it’s like to lose someone extremely close, and all I really want to do is be there…and I can’t. And although the difficulty that is for me is nothing compared to what D and her family are going through right now, it’s still hard.

I guess that’s all for now. Just wanted to write it all down before I forgot anything….