dramblin

i didnt want it to come to this. but here it goes…
i think im ready to be in a serious relationship again.
ok. so now its out. official. my roomie once asked me "and you have trouble with women…why?"
truth is, they terrify me. ive gone in to job interviews before and even been questioned by the police. but there is nothing more terrifying to me than asking someone out. so much to the point that i dont even make guy friends that easily unless they make the first move…
im guessing it has a lot to do with inadequacy or something, but thats only because of what ive heard. which i truly do not believe. at least in the sense that most might be thinking…
i think i have trouble making friends because i am too open. or too adventurous. or too…whatever. i mean, dont get me wrong, i can buddy up with just about anyone anywhere. what i mean by "friend" is more long term. brotherlike. and ive made a few brother like friends. and i miss tham all everyday. the problem is, im a wanderer. ive been moving from place to place over the last decade not to escape my boundaries, but to push them and to set them to new levels. but mostly, to have fun. sure, i could have been the only 21yr old i know with a retirement and pension plan, but that wasnt any kinda fun…i had to go!
so now, as i bounce around the country, i see things that in my mind, make me sad. things that locals either dont care about, or take for granted.
and i mean it.
i didnt think moving from hawaii to the east (and south) coast would really matter. holy fuck was i wrong…
the way i have seen people treat each other over the last few years is absolutely mind boggling. to me anyways.
and ive had people say "well its not fair to judge the east coast compared to hawaii because hawaii is an island…" ive four words for those people. 1shut 2the 3fuck 4up.
yeah, hawaii is an island. does that mean people there have to treat each other with respect? no. ive seen it. this is the east coast does it really matter what people think? yes. ive seen it.
i cant express it enough at how much the golden rule comes into play in life but for crying out loud! island or not, we are all people. we all have needs. we all have wonts.
whats wrong with wanting all the needs met of the people?

and thats my drunken rant for the day.
so to speak…………..