You will Always have me….Except when you don’t.

 I had a stressful Christmas, but my mum did everything she could to make it a good one despite the money problems. And I couldn’t have asked for more:) 

It’s just there was a lot of pressure. 

But anyway! I hope you guys all enjoyed the weekend!

I spent tonight with Chris and he’s got a lot going on…his aunts aren’t doing so well, his Dad got fired, his Mum is stressed and he’s worried about his exams. and I understand that all this would get on top of him, but he never tells me stuff when I ask about it.

Yet, if i start to tell him that I’m feeling sad, or uninspired, that’s when he chooses to tell me. I guess I should be glad he tells me anything because he always uses humour or facts to distract the conversation away from things like that. But still. 

I don’t know how I feel about him at the minute. I care about him, and I want nothing more than for him to be happy… but at the same time I don’t feel the same excitement when I’m going to see him, or when I’m lying in his arms I don’t feel the same contentment. BUT, Maybe this is just part of being in a long term relationship. I mean three years can be classed as that right? or maybe it’s just a rough patch that we’ve got to work through and I’ve just got to be patient. 

Anyone got any advice?

I haven’t ended it with someone that I’ve still cared about before…

I don’t know if that’s what i should even do. I tried to tell him that I wanted to do more couple-y stuff. Like go Christmas shopping, or just walk down town some evening with the whole christmasy atmosphere but that didn’t happen cause he disappeared for 5 days before Christmas to his friends house. I just want out of this rut.

I’m bored. But that’s an awful thing to say because he’s really really down at the minute. He’s sleeping all the time and the few hours that he is awake he wants to sleep. It’s pretty worrying to be honest. 

Uck, all I want is for things to be a little easier for him. He deserves to be happy. 

Bye for now,

Karen.