Something I don’t think you knew about me…
I used to cut.
and tonight, after almost a year of no cutting, I gave in. And I’m sure most of you will think I’m weak or stupid or something.
but it’s the only thing that could stop my heart from breaking out of my chest, and my body from shaking. I feel so calm. and rational.
Christopher and I aren’t doing so well at the minute.
He has become so cold and distant towards me and I’m always mad at him for not making an effort with us, for not telling me things that are important to him. Truthfully I resent him for not being able to fix the situation we’re in. Long distance is the worst idea in the world. unless it’s only for a short period of time, like a year. But when you don’t know when it’ll be over, and you can’t plan, It’s the hardest thing in the world. The seperation seems permanent and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel because the tunnel is so unbelievably long.
So yeah. I don’t know what to do.
I can’t keep doing this-spending my nights in tears because he is shutting me out, and not making time for me. Or saying he’ll do something and then not coming through on it. He no longer sends me cute/loving texts throughout the day. He doesn’t say I love you as much. He doesn’t reply for hours. Last year he was there for me any time i needed him. If i got upset in the middle of the night i could text him and he would wake up and reassure me. But this year He can’t get away fast enough, He sleeps so much more.
But I can’t leave him- I love him. He is My world. And we’re so good in person. It’s just so hard.
I’m tired of being an option for him. I feel so heartbroken.
And I am completely alone.
Why can’t we be everything we were meant to be?
Bye for now,
Karen
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
I used to be a cutter too, I haven’t done it in for about 5 years now, but sometimes things just build up and I don’t know why but for some reason it just…helps. I hope you don’t make a habit of it and can work through your problems together, or you find the courage to move on to someone who will treat you the way you deserve. RYN: Thanks for the note, it’s SO hard to stay motivated!
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Aww… I’m sorry about this thing with Chris, some times long distance doesn’t work out for couples. I’m glad that Joe’s only a state away and that I’ll be moving in with him after I get my associates degree.
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