Life with a monster

it’s been a few years and so much has changed my life has changed but yet my living situation hasn’t changed. I’ve been in the save abusive relationship for years and tried to leave three separate times and yet empty promises were made and they only lasted a few days and he went right back with the physical mental and verbal abuse. So many things have gotten messed up payments never made property lost in pa due to him always having my mind so wrapped up in his on going mess of a compensation case and I’m too scared to tell him cuz I know he’ll get so mad that I’m afraid of what he’ll do to me or our son. It sounds horrible but I should of never had him I’m exposing him to the monster that is his father. Hits family is useless they just stand by and watch him abuse me and then tell me it’s my fault cuz I actually fought back that I should just stay quiet and listen to him and then he wouldn’t be so mad. For the longest time even when I did everything he said I stopped talking to people I went where he wanted to go did what he liked said everything right worked everyday to give him money when he wasn’t receiving any from comp called lawyers made doctors appointments asked questions for him I was still wrong. I’m not sure what to do anymore I’m tired very tired but the other thing keeping me alive is my son cuz i refuse to let that monster and his sick twisted racist family raise him