Maybe moving!

Well Chris and I have been talking more and more about moving.  Believe me I know that this is stuff holding me back here in Florida.  I really have been writing a pro and con list about moving.  I love my family more then anything and anyone who knows me knows this.  But if someone is unhappy with everything..maybe a change is what I need.   I hardly talk to my grandparents anymore.   I know that Shayla is a good part of that.  i’m ok with that.  But me and my grandpa could talk about anything.  And lately it has been really had too.  My grandma has been the same way.  She has changed since the baby has been born but only towards certain things.  I’m just afraid that something could happen and I won’t be here to say goodbye you know? 

 I have never been close to my sister.  But I would miss her

I never see my nephew anymore.  He is having some issues and I don’t know why. 

My aunt and Shayla will be hard.   Shayla was the greatest birthday gift I could have gotten.  She puts a smile on my face.  I love her so much and it is a joy to see her.  My aunt has been my "sister".  She has always been there for me and I know she would be if I left too.  But there is that bond that I’m afraid to let go of.  I know she is a HUGE part of why I’m afraid to leave.

My niece, Kayla is like a daughter to me.  But ever since she has dropped out of school…things just aren’t the same anymore.  **She reads this but she needs to know how I feel**  I read her diary all the time and it kills me to know that all she does is drink.  Everytime she goes out…she ends up getting wasted.  And it just kills me that her liver is slowing dying and it is just ok.  We have all tried to explain to her that being 17 and drinking all the time isn’t the healthest way of living.   She is a big mouth but with a big heart.  And I know that is gonna get her hurt in the long run.   So when I read about her and her lifestyle…i just want to go up to her and slap her.  I just want her to wake up.  I understand that you only live once but this isn’t the life that you should be living at 17.   I just want to take her with us and give her a major wake up call and get her back on track.    I have so many feelings about the whole situation but she really doesn’t want to hear them.   She is a great girl and it kills me to read everything. 

My aunt wokes at the school board and she said they are allow to use their cell phone in between classes.  What is the school system up too?  The school system down here really sucks.  Aimee hates school and they don’t care. 

Living down here is getting really expensive.  I realize that it is like that everywhere but I don’t get paid shit here.  We barely make it and I hate that.  No matter how much we try to get ahead….we can’t. 

I just need to vent with someone.   Anyone want to chat…AIM name is bigchevsgrl