Goodnight Ajax, I’ll miss you.

 Rich and I just got back from the veterinarian, we had to put our dog Ajax down. He has had a heart murmur forever, and about a month ago we noticed that he looked bloated. We thought it was constipation, but after a week we took him to the vet and they told us that his lungs were filling up with fluid, and that his heart was enlarged to more than double the normal size. We brought him home and loved on him for the next couple of weeks. 

He soon was unable to walk up even two stairs to get outside, he spent all of his time in his kennel, and then he stopped eating. If I gave him a treat that he would eat, he would immediately throw it back up. This morning when we woke up we noticed that he had blood crusted around his nose and his breathing was labored. It was time. 

We wrapped him up in his fuzzy bed-pillow thing and walked to the vet’s office just a few blocks away cradled in our arms. We had called in advance so they had a room prepared for us. The gave him a sedative and opiate to get him whacked out of his head (it was kind of cute, he couldn’t keep his tongue in his mouth… he was always a goofy sort of cute) and then put in an IV. Our doctor told us how it could happen, then she administered three shots. He put his head down and in just a few seconds it was over.

I had been sitting there, petting him and kissing his head. I settled him in his bed and then promptly lost my shit. I cried on Rich’s shoulder for a few minutes thinking about the last summer. I was all alone in the house that Rich and I had bought while he was working across the country, and that little dog kept me company. He slept in the bed with me, walked around with me, sat with me and cuddled up on me while I was feeling alone and sad. I love his sweet little face, and how loving he was. He was the cutest of our dogs, but also the dumbest. Rest in peace baby, I’ll miss you forever.