Smoking

 

 

 

Once again I am really annoyed with myself for smoking.
I keep trying to stop but for some unknown  reason I seem to start again… I don’t understand it, really I don’t.
I dunno if it’s because I’m a bit down-  I’m not even going to try and make an excuse, because seriously there is none- none at all. I hate myself for it and I so desperately want to stop. I cannot explain how much I hate it, suffice to say i was in tears for 25 mins this evening because I had some today. I just don’t know what to do with myself so I’m going to bed.

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April 15, 2007

Aw don’t be too down on yourself… it’s a difficult thing to get away from!

April 15, 2007

I was a 2-pack-a-day addict in WW2 times. A friend blew cig smoke thru a white handkerchief and when I saw that yellow slimy stuff it left(no filters then)it made me afraid to coat my lungs with that junk. Was also afraid that swearing of smoking and failing to do so would hurt my self respect. Decided to quit for a day, then a few days later for 2, then a week, and finally for a month. Was working late one evening and a friend offered me a cig. Checked the calendar my month was over by a week. Smoked that cig to the butt and got so sick I had to go home and go to bed, minus a nice steak dinner wife had for me. Haven’t smoked in over the 60 years since. Kick the cigs, Doktah, it’ll bring you many more and happier years– especially if you replace that BAD habit with a GOOD one,like an exercise program. .