Just a note

Last night Cassie and I went to the skunk, I did a booking for ricky . The performance wasn’t bad, didn’t make much money but nor did I expect to either. I more so did it to see ricky hang out for a bit, and just have fun on stage.  I got a few compliments an such, it was fun. Alyda came out to watch. It seemed kinda of akward between us last night, maybe it was just me, but I dont know. We have been hanging out and talking just bout every chance we get. We’ve come to the conclusion we’re not good at being broken up. I know it’s probaly not the best thing in the world to do for the future but honestly all I’m doing is waiting to see because for all we know she could be to handle it. All the changes may not matter as much as we both think. I guess you could say that I’m just not ready to let go, and your right. Something is just urging me not to give up. 

I have been working alot as usual. Im glad though the money is good, hope fully things can continue to go this well and by march everything will be set for me to find a therapist and I can begin therapy and finally get this thing going, and finally she the out come of Alyda and I. Finally the chance to be able to move farther in the journey to be me. To know what it’s like not to be questions and "Finally hit puberty". Once march hits i’m hoping to have a car so getting back and forth to work is simple and not a mess. Also back and forth to therapy. Nothing against anyone who has helped me out with anything, im honestly tired of relying on people. I get frustrated to easily, ready to snap, just because I love having things sorted out ahead of time so it jut flows simply, and people arnt like that now a days.

K think thats all for now, lost my train of thought for everything else. Brooke started texting me. Besides the fact my computer is being completely retarted and once I stop typing it is still trying to catch up with everything that I wrote. So Write tonight when I get home maybe..or tomorrow morn before work.

D.j