Farmville saves the day

I paragraph out of brookes Diary and i couldn’t have said it better, or written my thoughts, so thanks you to her for being able to state something I knew not how….

"Our discussion concluded with….where the fuck has the past year gone and why the fuck dont we remember it? it couldve been the fact that I dont think we were sober a single day from January to June. I think we just wanted to forget everything around us to the point where…thats how it happened and how it ended. We were our own self destruction, and right now, its just a a rebuilding of a foundation to fix our fucking selves. Ive got to find out who is truly meant to be here, who I need in my life and whats going to happen. I needed that destruction. I guess I had to figure that out on my own…

"And this is how the world ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper…"

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming. haha Cassie told me if D’s nickname is Squishy then mines gonna be Nemo. I actually really thought about that….Ive been trying to find my way home….and with a fractured foot I think I got my lucky fin lol. Maybe its befitting"

I start my first actual day of work tomorrow. 10 a.m sharp. Not exactly my hours of choice but next weeks schedule is going to be soon. James  (Ass. G.M) Said I have 17 hours this week just because of the schedule my trainer is doing. I got the Grill so I’m overly excited. Once everything gets going with this job and I have a regular work schedule/habit going I’m going to try for a second job if I can get it all to work out. I’m kinda going to see problems with the fact of the hours I’m going to be working, the ones Alyda works, and not having my own car. I see an easy solution to it on certain day’s but it won’t work that way, because some people ain’t going to go along with it, so why even bother suggesting it…. I plan on trying to get my license some time this week, just so I feel safer when driving to and from work, when I can.

Bridgettes getting ready to burst. So it might just be best if I stay out there and take the bus to and from work. Makes me worry about if it comes to that what is the damage of Alyda and I not seeing each other going to do to our relationship. Make it stronger or just come to the point that the distance is to much….I hate long distance relationships, granite it isnt that far. Honestly I have a lack of confidence in her to actually come see me if it came to that point. When  I was staying with Bridgette because me we’re having our problems she didn’t come and see me and it broke my heart. I wouldn’t be able to handle is and it would piss me off. I dont know maybe I shouldn’t look at it and have a little more faith, but just looking at situations that have happen with distance being between us, I just cant be certain she would….sad. 🙁

Tomorrow after work I have got to get the questionaire youtube video done, people are starting to question about it. I have just been so busy trying to maintain my life, an piece everything back together I haven’t had the time to look over the questions, and really get the answers together…..

Going to play farmville to make myself feel better now..

D.j