Scattered

I’m so scatterbrained anymore. I’ve read it could be a sensitivity to copper caused by the IUD, but I’m not really letting myself think about that, because I don’t have the option of doing anything else at the moment. But it sucks. Like, seriously. I forget the stupidest things I should never forget. Like getting in touch with our last apartment complex and TRYING to keep us out of court. I’m pretty sure we’re going to court, anyway.

I need to start making a physical to-do list every day that I can mark off, because it’s getting ridiculous. Days when I have 1 big task to focus on (like getting caught up on laundry) are easy, because I can remember one big thing. But when I have multiple things to do, forget it. I’m also becoming more easily overwhelmed with my home – less mess sends me into a bigger tailspin, and instead of cleaning, my response to being overwhelmed is to shut down and not be able to do ANYTHING. It sucks. 

Wes’ car broke down today. It’s not worth saving, but he’s not going to listen to me about that, and I can’t say with 100% certainty that my thoughts are non-biased, anyway. I have a good chance at a childcare job starting in August (yes, I know it’s forever away) but I would need a vehicle with 3 rows so I can fit 4 car seats. So my brain doesn’t see much point in spending a ton of money on his POS only to go buy a new car next year. Makes more sense to me to go ahead and buy a new van/SUV for me and pass him down my truck. But again…that might just be my selfishness wanting a new car. I’ve found some ok deals on Ford Freestyles, which I LOVE (3-row SUV that gets 20+ mpg) but it would involve car loans, which I said I didn’t want to have anymore, or else getting Wes’ dad to pay cash and paying him back (which I also don’t like to do, but honestly it’s the better option). But again, all of this is stupid to worry about, because Wes doesn’t agree, so we’ll be seeing what we can do about fixing his car this weekend.

My kids have taken turns being sick non-stop for the past 3 months and it’s getting OLD. Now Mal has some bacterial infection (my ped always does a CBC to see if it’s a virus or bacteria before prescribing antibiotics – I LOVE her!) AND an ear infection, so he’s on antibiotics and nebulizer treatments when he needs them. Xander’s pnemonia finally seems to have gone away (although it took more than a week after he was done with antibiotics), and Jaime seems normal for now at least. 
 
My mom triggered me hardcore last night and I had a rough time, but it also made me so glad for my awesome friends. Wes’ mom even sent me awesome Facebook messages last night about how proud SHE is of me, what a great woman I’ve become, and other great sappy stuff I needed at that point in time. 
 
Money sucks, but it’s hopefully getting better. We’re doing Yule dinner a week from tomorrow, then it’s Christmas eve and Christmas with various families. I’m so not ready. We haven’t even finished making all the decorations for the tree. Hopefully going to finish that up Saturday with Wes. We didn’t have the money to do presents for our friends’ children like we usually do, and I’m really upset about it. Moreso because I’m out of time to MAKE anything, and if I would’ve realized how tight money was going to be, I’d have made things awhile ago, when I still had time. 
 
For now, I’m going to go get dressed and head to Laura’s to hang out before she disappears for a week. And we can commiserate about how I need a new car. lol