Accio Life Update?

Really, I don’t think it’s fair that it’s possible to be on the rag while you’re already sick.  Getting your monthly visit of stabbing pain in your uterus and blood spewing out ONTOP of already having a horrid cold just isn’t right.  I woke up this morning just past 10:40ish when I had meant to sleep at least until 11:30am all because my sudden cramps were making me feel absolutely horrible.  So I got up, took care of the problem, and now here I am…. forced to be awake.  I suppose if I’m tired today that’s just what I get for staying up past three in the morning to read Half-Blood Prince.

Right.  Half-Blood Prince, as in the sixth Harry Potter book.  I’ll admit it — I picked up one of the Harry Potter books in the library upstairs one night and started reading.  I was just bored and lonely, not feeling the talking to people thing and I found the library rather comforting.  I curled up in one of their chairs, slipped off my flip flops and fell in love with the Harry Potter series.  The same series that I said I would never read, even when it got to the point that I would not read it just on principle.  My resolve broke, finally, and I found out I needed that world more than I ever could have imagined.  I was down at that particular point in time — really down — and I had forgotten how books can draw you into a whole different world and offer some comforts that your real life around you never could.  I think I might have forgotten — or at least I was clouded from seeing — how much I loved to read.  Since that moment in the library, I have been enthralled.

It’s been a long time since I updated.  Anywhere, really, not just here.   And to be honest, I’m not sure why I chose this place.  For a long time I haven’t felt completely comfortable or open writing here and I can’t be for certain as to why.  I just often felt very restricted writing here.  It’s not so bad right now, though.  But I mean.  I can’t promise this won’t be boring anyway.

Last semester I received grades all in the A range, but right now I feel rather disinterested when it comes to school, to be perfectly honest.  I don’t know what kind of mood I’ve fell into, but I’ve been trying desperately to break it.  I feel indifferent, but I go to classes anyway.  I haven’t been doing homework until the last second, if at all.  This weekend was supposed to be my weekend to catch up.  I’ve done nothing, so far.  I have two papers due on Thursday, a 1-2 page paper and a 5-7 page paper that I was determined to have finished by the end of today.  We’ll see how that goes, since I haven’t started the reading for either topic.  I just want to be caught up and be done with it.  I want the week to fly by stress free(this is impossible, don’t think I’m unaware of that).  It’s like…. I want to go to classes and learn, but I don’t want to do the work that is involved in the on-going process.  I really need to snap myself out of this.  It’s my sophomore year.  I need to wake up.

On an entirely random note, I was reading through Sarah’s old diary entries last night.  I simply went to the beginning and just started reading through every one.  I’m not sure why, really.  I just felt compelled to at the moment, and so I did it.  I nearly started crying when I got into the entries about her and Jake.  I feel so happy when I think about them.  They’re married now and they’re expecting a baby and they seem so happy and wonderful together.  Jake is such a sweet, wonderful guy from what time I’ve known him and I’ve always hoped Sarah would find happiness, especially with someone like him.  The idea that someone so close to me, someone that has been such a large part of my life and has such a big place in my heart…. someone that I consider a sister and a friend… the idea that she is so happy right now makes my own heart feel warm and right.  I can’t wait until I go visit, either.  I miss them both. 🙂

Well, although I do have so much more to write about, I think it might be time to go get dressed.  Alex, Alexis and I decided that we should head down for brunch at some point, since the three of us all managed to wake up around the same time.  I also should start reading Beowulf so I can write that first paper.  See, I’m trying? 😉

Until later.