Still Breathing.

The past few days are laid out before me…

a blur of late nights and drinking…

decisions made with blurry vision.

These are the nights I had forgotten. 

Nights of freedom, fun, and frivolity. 

Nights when I actually feel like I can act my age.

I had been so serious.

Trying to deal with issues far beyond my capability.

Holding so much on my shoulders that I could barely breathe.

And in a matter of moments, I had escaped.

My lungs contracted and expanded easily…

My dark heart was swirling with relief.

Pumping blood through relieved veins.

Independence is mine again.

And I celebrated.

This is the life I want. 

I walked a long road to find myself here.

For I was constantly leaning on others — on the wrong people.

Now, those that are most important have made a brilliant return.

And those who don’t matter are lost to the past.

 

This is the present. 

I am happy with all that I have.

I am 19, and entitled to mistakes…

And decisions made on a whim.

But a life with no regrets.

Inhale, Exhale.

I’m amazed at the ease of each breath.

Contentment.