light it up and watch me burn

Some days, this is the only place where I can find myself.

Endless hours at a job where all I hear is stories of broken people

Trying to fix lives long lost to anger, depression, and fear.

I’m afraid of ending up that way myself.

over 30. alone. destroyed.

My biggest fear has always been ending up alone… 

Though nothing has really ever happened to make me believe I will be,

minus knowing my own head, in and out. 

There are days where I doubt whether someone will come along, see me for what I am….

and stay.

Most days, I push it to the closets of my soul… hidden beside painful memories and empty hearts.

But for now….

I must press on.

I have a goal for my life. A drive many lack.

A passion for love, riding, music, and art…. I won’t let them burn away.

I’ve been alone for some time now…

I can handle it until someone comes along who will change everything,

because, after all, love always does. 
 

Smile.

One foot in front of the other.

Each day, the sun will rise.

Each night, it will set.

And I will keep on toward the horizon.

Endless fervor to keep me going on days when the clouds block the sun.

Independent. Driven. Intense.

 

 

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July 21, 2010

With drive like that. You won’t be alone when that comes around. =]

July 21, 2010

ryn: Well, thank you. I wrote it about a friend. If I can get close to someone and they open up to me, even a bit.. I can do that. =]

July 23, 2010

Thank you. You write beautifully.

July 31, 2010

Hell yeah. And guess what? You will see that while you are alone right now, you won’t be for long. And the only reason you will stay alone because you want to. Because you refuse to settle. There was a time where I was alone and without option.. and yet all I did was work at myself while most partied and wasted away the nights. I spent those nights inside my head working on me.

July 31, 2010

You have a light about you. There’s something special within you. I can sense it. I did the first time I read an entry. You stand out amongst a crowd of many. That’s hardly mere words and it isn’t just fluff. I promise you this, I say this rarely. You are different and it will lead to some of the worst pains and loneliest nights of your life.. Yet also give you such riches and wonderful highs..

July 31, 2010

Life is just learning to smile despite ourselves and because of ourselves. I hope you never lose sight of yourself.