Echo

 Day is gone.

The only time when I can breathe and smile without feeling heavy and fake.

Without hands clenching my neck, suffocating me.

Without this feeling in my chest.

And a sinking in my heart.

Night has come, and even on my most favorite of nights… with thunder and lightning to keep my terrors away…

This darkness is still all consuming.

A loneliness that I can’t escape. 

I succumb to the temptation of memories…

Of someone caring, someone loving me.

Of a warm embrace, and a sweet kiss.

A gentle caress, and a cocky smile.

 

Everyone else is home with the ones they love.

And I’m all alone…

The way I always am these days.

I remember what a relationship was like, one in particular.

And I can’t even imagine having it again.

I’m so trapped in this that I don’t know what to do anymore…

All I want is to have someone who cares.

Someone to hold me and tell me it’ll be ok.

To tell me that I’m beautiful, and that I mean the world.

 

I miss mattering, to someone. 

I miss love, and feeling like I have something more to live for.

 

I just can’t do this anymore. 

I can’t stay trapped in the past because all it does is ache when dawn breaks…

and yet it’s all that comforts me when the stars own the sky.