Mind Hunger

This isn’t the ‘lowest’ I’ve been, but it’s certainly the loneliest. I’m over 100 miles away from my family and the majority of my friends, living with a person who couldn’t give a toss about me. I have a wonderful friend five miles away, but it’s quicker to travel 30 miles away to the next city than try and get to his via public transport. I’m isolated. The internet is my main comfort at the moment – emailing my parents, social networking, open diary. Anything to get away from this situation.

Putting all the sarcastic comments about the lack of sex aside, I’d do anything for some decent company. I’m deeply, deeply mentally understimulated.

The part that hurts the most is thinking about people who enjoy their lives. It’s like a dagger to the heart thinking that other people, people I love and who love me back, are having fun and are happy. I suppose I’m jealous of them. I’m jealous because I could easily have that, but now that I’ve started college I need to stay here. I’m almost using him for a place to live until my course is over. Moving to the next city and going to university there suddenly seems the most attractive option.