40 dollars for a 12er of Diet Coke

That’s the price when you’re lazy and hate the grocery store so you order it from Amazon Prime Now but don’t want to spend 4.99 for delivery so you order 35 more dollars worth of shit so you qualify for free delivery. Have I mentioned I work in finance? Yeah, it boggles my mind too.

My Mom’s birthday dinner is tonight and then I’m watching the Super Bowl with my sister tomorrow and I asked what she wanted me to bring for snacky snacks and she said to just bring Diet Coke. Usually I have a healthy supply in my house but I just put my last 24 pack (don’t judge me) in the fridge so I needed to get some to bring. I hate the store. HATE the store so I did what every girl with social anxiety and laziness does and ordered it on line. I did need some other stuff too though so it wasn’t a total waste. I probably didn’t need the bag of fun size Twix or 3 Muskateers I bought but….whatevs. Twix are my sister’s faves so I’m going to bring them with me.

You guys. YOU.GUYS. THE EAGLES ARE A LITTLE MORE THAN 24 HOURS AWAY FROM THE MOTHER FUCKING SUPER BOWL. I was watching hype videos all morning on YouTube. I’m so stoked for the game I feel like I could sack Tom Brady! I have abandoned all game day rituals and am leaving the game in the hands of my boys. Especially my lord & savior, number 27 himself, MALCOLM JENKINS. LOVE that dude! My neighbors will be stoked I’m not watching at home. haha.

I woke up yesterday feeling like absolute garbage. I’ve felt kind of yucky all week but by Friday I was exhausted and my body hurt and I just wanted to sleep. I tried to call out. Or to be more specific, text out. My boss proceeded to send me 8 texts in 2 minutes that included a guilt heavy comment about someone high up giving her an ultimatum about getting some information that I finally said fuck it and went in. I was pissed. Why do I have a “supervisor” that makes twice as much as I do if HE can’t give her the information she’s asking for in my absence?

When I got there she tried to put it back on me about not staying home. I didn’t respond at first until she said it again and I finally said, “When you hit me with she gave you an ultimatum, I decided to come in” and my boss goes, “It wasn’t that important”. THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME?!?! I told her it was fine, I was there and I was going to work. I don’t know that I’m getting sick, I just know I felt like shit yesterday and my body hurt.

HR had a BBQ for us and it was nice.  They grilled cheeseburgers for us and all kinds of fresh veggies and potato salad and different types of chips and cookies. Its amazing to me how ungrateful and entitled some of my co-workers were. “What, no hot dogs?” and “Why aren’t there any baked beans this time?” “Where are the brownies?” I was like, seriously assholes? When I thanked the CEO for the BBQ he looked genuinely surprised someone thanked him.

Dude, I just looked at my legs and my cankles are REPRESENTING today! I didn’t drink very much water yesterday and it shows. Oops. I need to kick up the intake today. I just realized I’m about a week out from my period so that doesn’t help much either. Can I just dry up already? Or at the very least put my uterus up on e-bay? I don’t have any kids and I don’t plan on having any so its hardly used.

Okay, I need to wrap my Mom’s gift and do some laundry and a nap sounds lovely. Have a good Saturday y’all and remember to root for the Eagles tomorrow!!!!

-DCH