That which is broken

I’m thankful for the broken things. I’m thankful that from time to time, life becomes derailed by what was taken for granted. This post is inspired by my laptop. I’ve been without my laptop since December 19th. I work online, so this has been a major disruption. It’s out for repairs and will return, but I’ll likely be another week or two without it. 

The blessing of this brokenness overwhelms having the machine.  I’ve spent more time with my friends and family. My view on work, work life balance, dependency on technology and being online is being re-evaluated. What work life do I want? What home life do I want? What type of engagements do I want online? What matters? 

I love the broken things that force me to let go. I’ve been clearing out my apartment and discovering things that I promised to fix but never did and things I have fixed but still didn’t last. I’ve carefully felt the weight of objects I’ve carried around and never used. Thank you broken things for beckoning me to let go.

I’m thankful for the broken things that help me go in a new direction. I remember early last year having a “falling out” with a client. It was a really weird situation, likely having to do with Covid, but regardless, the broken relationship was a good teacher. It was the first time I had “fired” a client. I felt empowered that I was strong and confident enough to let go. This brokenness revealed my personal growth away from people pleaser and toward seasoned professional.

I’m thankful for the “towers” that have fallen in my life. For a couple of years the Tower and Devil cards haunted me. It seems everything in my life was falling apart for what felt like an eternity. Now looking back, I can see what was stripped away was poisoning me. The foundations I had set in my life were faulty and needed to be deconstructed and destroyed. I’m thankful for those times when life becomes so broken, I have to start again. 

[from January 2020]