Forget the funeral

I’ve missed the past few days of posting since I’ve been on the road. I’m about halfway through my 30 hour drive to my family in Ohio.

I’m thankful that I’m at a point of my life and stability to be able to respond to emergencies. When we were living in New York, we couldn’t travel, at all. We missed weddings, funerals, birthday parties, and forget concerts or any special occasions. But now, if feels like we could go anywhere if there wasn’t a pandemic.

Last week my grandma was diagnosed with later stage colon cancer. She had an emergency surgery on Wednesday. I was told Monday night. Being in her 90s and not in good health, we’re all unsure if she’ll be able to make it through recovery. So I flew into action, packed my bags, and we’re on our way.

Forget about the funeral. Dying is inevitable for all of us, but living is fleeting. Feeling into my intuition, if I only have one chance to make a trip, I face two choices, go now, or wait for the funeral. My friends have questioned me on why I feel a sense of urgency, why do I feel like I need to go right now? For all I know she could make it through this thing and live another 10 years. Her side of the family has long-life genes, so that’s the expectation I think we subconsciously have. Grandma forever. I think we’ve silently assumed she’d outlive all of us. My heart is telling me, screw work, screw the money, go now. I’ll never regret trying to see her, but I’ll regret the rest of my life if I don’t.

I’m thankful I get to make this choice. I’m unbelievably blessed to respond to this challenging moment with love and action. It’s extraordinary considering how rough the last few years have been for us. I’m thankful that I have intrinsic freedom as a citizen of this country to travel through it and safely (Covid aside). Like wow, really. I’ve been to some dangerous places. I’m thankful that I get a chance to experience the US in this way. So few of us get to experience the vast diversity of the beautiful land, from the canyons to the mountains, through the prairies and corn fields…I don’t take for granted that I can drink up this experience.

Here’s a little token image from the road for ya’ll for reading my post. Keep on the sidewalks in New Mexico and watch your tuckus on the toilets. Snakes have been seen here.

[From January 2021]