seems like we’re kicking back

1. i have not slept for forty hours straight. it is amazing how much more you can find in the world in these hours of delerium. i will wake tomorrow morning and look at these lists i have compiled and wonder what they mean. i am in the mood for deciphering codes.
2. i am in love with the way he runs his hands over my body and stares at me as if i am something special, something fragile, something amazing. and i never want him to see me the way i see myself.
3. i have three weeks left of university and seven pieces of assessment left. the countdown has begun.
4. download ‘darkness’ by peter gabriel. this is my favourite song right now. it is beautiful.
5. tell me something you miss, something that you have lost and leaves that big gaping hole in your heart. she tells me i am addicted to other people’s misery. perhaps she is right.
6. i am going to sleep, wake me when this is over.

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May 21, 2005

Ignorance. Hobey.

May 21, 2005

i miss his hand tracing invisible lines on my thigh while i lay next to him in the dark under blankets given to him by my best friend and i miss hiding under that blanket against his chestwhen his grandpa would come downstairs to see if he was awake yet and i miss the taste of the inside of his lips.laura

I miss a time when things weren’t always this hard. xxx

May 21, 2005

i miss feeling loved.

May 21, 2005

i’ve listened to that song all day. and, not sleeping? one of the most remarkable experiences ever.

May 21, 2005

i miss family suppers where there was conversation, now we just eat in silence…….

May 21, 2005

i miss the girl i used to be….

May 21, 2005

i miss being confident in something in this world.being able to say”this is what will happen andi can bet on it for sure.”the rug keeps being yanked outand my face is sore fromlanding on the pavement so often.i miss not feeling that.love you always.

May 21, 2005

I miss Him. Even though I shouldnt. Such dirty thoughts. And he always called me a faery. Soft and silent kisses. Whispers of other worlds and new beginnings. He thought he needed to save me. But I loved him anyway.

May 21, 2005

there was a boy once who had my heartbut after 4 years i came to realizethat it wasn’t right anymore.& now he does his best to hurt mebut i won’t let him bring me down. i’ve missed you so much darling.i hope this love you speak ofmakes you happy beyond wordsbecause you deserve it all. let the world see you smile 🙂 xxxxx,

May 21, 2005

i miss seeing someone in the mirror who actually looks like me.

May 21, 2005

i miss my sam. big hole right there. BIG f.cking hole..

May 21, 2005

the fact that i cant make the people aroud me happier. like that boy i love.

May 22, 2005

I stumbled home after what seems like a year, and then I stumbled here. Its been so long- and i miss your letters.

May 22, 2005

As university semester one comes to an end I feel relieved only 2.5 years to go. Get some sleep, close those sleepy eyes. I miss the summer with its warmth keeping me in happy thoughts. Xoxox miss you,keep writing

May 22, 2005

i miss you, my kimmy. xx

May 22, 2005

I miss you and what we once shared.

May 22, 2005

i miss my innocence.xxx

May 22, 2005

I miss my Cody.

May 22, 2005

I miss living in London, I miss the person I was when I was in London, I miss Tony, I miss the way childhood was so less cynical than now, i miss the days when being with my friends didn’t feel forced and fake like it does for some reason now.

May 22, 2005

You’re wonderful. xoxo

May 22, 2005

i miss being able to feel this tiredwithout having to worry about the work i should be doingor the fact that i look terrible. enjoy your delerium while it lasts.it will be one of those surreal experiencesthat always end too soon<333

May 22, 2005

i miss being loved. i miss being happy. i miss myself. xxx;;

May 22, 2005

i miss my youth days…

May 22, 2005

and i never want him to see me the way i see myself.Right now there is no hole in my heart..there is no heart.Goodnight my love.

May 22, 2005

it sounds like he sees you just fine and wouldn’t change a thing… so no worries =) i miss rob. i miss knowing i could call him or see him anytime and he’d be happy to see me. i miss the time when i knew who i was. xoxo

May 22, 2005

i am attracted to other people’s misery but so are a lot of people

May 22, 2005

I miss you..

May 22, 2005

I miss my grandma and my dog.

May 22, 2005

i miss the time when there wasn’t a reason to feel nostalgic. i miss the time when i cared about something. i miss the time when i felt like someone loved me, i miss the time when i wasn’t so numb from the inside out. i miss who i could have been.;;

May 22, 2005

i miss feeling free. truely free and able to run and be wild. love you sweet. xx

him.

May 23, 2005

i miss myself. or the self that i used to be. now im just an empty shell.

May 23, 2005

um, *plane. heh.

May 25, 2005

take care of yourself darling. thank you for the comment. im flattered. there has only been a couple of times where i have inspired someone so much that they print my work. thank you. ;;

May 26, 2005

I miss being so blindingly naive (innocent) that I believe in absolutely everything. I miss happiness, real happiness, the kind that is so overwhelming I could cry. I miss being in love. I miss myself. ((Noelle))