arti[choking on you]

you are half-closed eyes,
dull grey lips when fingertips reach
too far into closed notebooks.
sometimes i strain my ears to
try and hear your voice through
ink black wires, not realising it
was always a dial tone.

maybe i imagined the sound
of you breathing.

and i am carressing the neck
of my guitar, fingers aching heart breaking
haven’t played in so long because
the chords are empty without your
voice to keep them warm.
i smoke your brand of cigarettes
because i thought they might
kill me quicker.

i will not admit that it
is really to trick my mind into
thinking i am still breathing you in.

[it was time for a change. these are no longer the last words. check out my front page too, because that is also new. and while you’re at it, check out my other diary… arc-de-triomphe because it is lonely. i have missed writing, for some reason my muse has returned. xo;]

MDLN

darling this is a transfer of my thoughts done in charcoal. i smoke your brand of cigarettes because i thought they might kill me quicker.and why have i never known of your third diary? its a travesty.love,

liebe.

fabulous. perhaps one of the best sounds in the world, the dial tone. it has so much potential, so much anticipation or nervousness in it’s buzz, at times. i love it. and you. lots.

im silly. ._. i realize this.oh well, love still

meadowlark.

oh, how i missed your words.i am glad you have returned.<333

she swore

I’ve missed you.And thank you.♥

evolve

i’ve missed you.

Cafe de Reves

August 10, 2005

i wish mine would return…

a songs time.

i am glad you’re back. you were missed very much. <3x

♥ AMY!

you’re wonderful.i have to ask though…did you get vulgar reverie from me? :P♥

i begin.

thank you,dear.that was one of the kindest things i have heard lately.i heart your new name.et tu es aussi belle que toujours.take care.

eucatastrophe.

i read this this morning before i left for band rehearsal(i almost typed school…it’s so close it makes me sick!)and it made me a little more able to live through the day.<3, laura.