Stop shoving your employment in my face!

I properly signed on for the first time today. A fight broke out when I was waiting to do so. Youre always encouraged to turn up at a really specific time to make sure the place isnt overloaded with people all at once demading their drug…*ahem* I mean dole money. (They’re really anal about the time – if youre early they moan and glare about you taking someone else’s slot, but if your late by only ten seconds you are given a lecture about being punctual,)

Anyways when you do get there there is no order to see the people behind the desks so the people in the waiting area have to decide amongst themselves who’s been sitting there the longest and who’s next etc. When I was sitting there today at 3.54 and 30 seconds pm (I exagerate but you get the idea,) two Neds (Non-EDucated individualS – kappa tracksuits, five children despite being twelve years old themselves, again you get the idea,) got into a proper fight over who was there first. One eventually held the other’s face over a photocopier and threatened to press the start button and blind him, but then the plucky (and soon-to-be copied) Ned kneed the other in the groin and then kicked him in the head when he was down on the floor. I cowered in a very manly way in the corner behind a sturdy plastic pot-plant and furiously studied leaflets about helping old people back to work. The police arrived and arrested them both. All I could think was how they’d miss their allotted time slot to sign on. I have been de-sensitised to violence because of the dole. Help.

Once I finally got to a desk the bint started moaning about how much overtime she was doing…and how much the money would be useful for the approaching christmas…and how she didnt really mind doing overtime, but she didnt have to cause she was quite happy with the money she was being paid anyways….bear in mind THIS IS A DOLE OFFICE. I AM UNEMPLYED. I HAVE NO MONEY. She made me sign this shitty little contract thing. I get my money on Tuesday.