And now, an e-mail from Green

Hi Dew

well, haven’t received your phone call but wanted to call you. just had no time. it is funny to read your mail after all that happened here in past 6 weeks or so. Well, first, i am married.

To K. she did come to visit and we had wonderful 2 weeks of traveling around and she gradually decided to stay. so, few weeks ago we understood that only if we will officially marry, she will be able to stay and legally work. so we did…it was fast and weird. now we are living together with my housemate . It is hard but we will have to take it since my contract ends in August. By now we managed to already finish filling the papers to the immigration (you don’t want to know what a night mare) and bought a car.
Take care and good luck in the new apartment
Green

You may remeber that Green was my other very importantl ex, after Daniel. He also moved to the states about 1/2 a year ago, without the girlfriend…. she’s a girl he was always kind of ashamed of, kind of didn’t really want her, and then there was a change and suddenly he said that he loved her, but I guess no one really believed him. When he moved and she didn’t come with him, no one was surprised. He had a few more affairs in California. Strong, serious love affairs that seemed much more meaningful to him than K. Or not…

I am not someone who usually tries to make themselves the centre of dramas that belong to others, but this time it really seems creepy. Daniel and Green getting married in the same week? (At least telling me in the same week). What is this supposed to mean? I bet Jonathan is getting married too… It’s as if someone is trying to say: “everyone is getting married! All of your exes are unavailable! You must get married too, to keep up with the crowd. You must crush your repressed fantasies about maybe someday getting back with these people. Because there is NO going back. It’s marriage or the blank sapce behind you”.

I found hearing about my Ex’s marriage both a little upsetting and very liberating. I think you’ll feel the same way soon, liberated that is. And as for you having to get married…well I think it’s more important to live your own life and find your own happiness.

Vitus Vinifera

April 27, 2005

I think it would freak me out a little bit if either Mitchell or Eric got married. Not because I want to get back together with them, but more like… “They wouldn’t marry me. What does that girl have that I don’t?”

Lover of Stars

That is weird! Two in such a short space! I don’t talk wih my exes anymore. Well, only one of them and we’ve been friends for so long, and he was already married and divorced. I wish that like you, I’d managed to keep in touch with certain people. Sometimes I wonder how they are doing.

Dew, I’m really happy you’re still around. Have you given any more thought to moving to Switzerland and marrying me?

Haha, a spooky thing – I wrote that note before I read this entry, I was just so thrilled you were still here. It must be MEANT TO BE.

"mrs cantina"

May 1, 2005

RYN: Oh, we’re still talking a bit….I talked to him last night when I was drunk, actually. It’s just hard because we live so far apart….I think that if I moved there, then we would give it a chance, but right now I don’t even want to try. It’s ok.