A weekend to remember

South Lebanon in March looks pretty much the same as Ireland in August.
And we’re getting married.
 
AAAAAAAA
 
That’s pretty much the big news of last weekend. After a long while of working our a**es off, me and Nir finally took a 3-day weekend and trekked up north to see the last shades of green before they fade away. We didn’t really go to South Lebanon. We stopped right before the border and just peered over at it. It’s a beautiful place. Well, so is the Israeli side of the border, also beautiful but much less wild.
We booked the most Kitch-romantic zimmer that was ever built. Do you have zimmers in the states? These uber-designed yuppie rooms for rent in the village, that belong to a family that brings you breakfast in the morning – grandma’s blinches? Anyway, just so you get the idea (and I will post photos once I investigate the photobucket thing), its a not-that big room, all brick and wood, with a gigantic bed that has posts and a velvet cover on to – what do you call that? And a jacuzy with rose petals on the sides, a bottle of wine and candles and a fruit basket… you do get the idea, right? So, when we got there after a walk in the woods, I started getting the feeling that Nir was more romantic than usual, more lovey-dovey than usual, didn’t get annoyed at little things I do that might usually annoy him a bit, you know – little couple things like parking wrong or not agreeing on the radio station. Not that we ever fight about things like that – or at all in the past year or so – but he was looking at me like my crooked parking was the sweetest thing in the world. And that made me feel the same way. I was starting to make plans for the evening when he said "let’s not go out. Let’s have a romantic night here". And he was so asserive in a way unlike him that I started to feel something might be up.
So we start making the jacuzy and trying to light the candles… except there were no matches or lighters. We tried with the lighter from the car – didn’t work. Tried to light a cigarette and light the candles with it – all we got was a romantic room filled with cigarette smoke. When we gave up on that, we found out we couldn’t opn the wine bottle – the opner wasn’t working… so we slashed the cork with a kitched knife until bits of it fell into the wine and it was possible to pour some.
Adn the we got into the jacuzy and it was sooo romanti despite the cig smoke and the peices of cork floating around in out wine glasses. And after a bit he said "I have a present for you"…. and then it actually occured to me what it could be. But i wasn’t sure and I actually listed possible reasons in my head why he might *not* want to marry me…. but then he said "it’s something that’s supposed to add to the sexual excitement of a woman". And i got the joke but I still wasn’t sure. And then I opened the little bag, still thinking I might see a vibrator or something like that in it, but it really was a jewlery box. And i still said to myself "if it’s a pair of earrings or something, don’t act disappointed". But no, it was a ring, a classic engagement ring that left no room for doubt. And I didn’t even answer. I just kissed him really hard, and he said "so, we’re getting married, huh?" and I said "it seems so".
And then we had the most romantic weekend ever. We didn’t talk about the actual wedding at all, or our future together, but once in a while he asked to look at the ring on me, or said something like "wow, you’ll be Or’s (his nephew’s) aunt" and we suddne;y understood what it all meant and we were awed. And once he said "it’s rare to meet someone and to so quickly know  that she’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with". And I really hadn’t been sure he fealt that way.

******

Since we’ve been back in Tel Aviv things have been back to normal and that cloud of ultimate warmness hasn’t rally survived. Everything felt so good on the weekend. Now ther’e the actual party to plan and all of the conflicting intrests of all of the family and friends and us… the difference between "the wedding" as I had imagined it and what is practically possible. But while i’m writing this i realize, again as I have realized a few times this week, that the wedding itself is so unimportant, as compared to the fact that we are actually together and plan to be that way for life. It’s harder to get married when you’re 30 than when you’re 20. I’ve seen weddings cancelled, divorces, bad marriages… I know that we have to work to keep this relationship good just as much as we had to before the decision wass made. But still, it does open up a whole new window of future possibilities that before, I would bearly let myself imagine.
Ad the most important thig is Nir. And the fact that I love him. I never dreamed of someone like him but i ended up with just what was the best for me, even if I couldn’t even dream him. I love how uncomplicated he is, how mature, how nostalgic, how non-yuppie and not power driven – rather the opposite. I love how completely myself I am in this relationship. I love how he nows how to do a million things and has a million hobbies. I love how he can get into something and won’t stop until it is finished – exactly the opposite of me. I like how he thinks all of my crazy ideas are good ideas and how he’ll smontaneously go on pointless adventures with me. I love how a walk accross town on Friday can seem like a really big thing for both of us and I love that he will say it "what a nice morning, what a nice walk…." when i’m scared to say these things for fear he doesn’t feel them too. I love the way if I see him happy I feel happy too. It’s not altruism – it just meens we’re connected. No more my mood or your mood. Now there’s our mood, the house mood. And while i’m typing this, it’s a really good mood. Some of the magic is back.