and you go home and you cry and you want to die.

I AM
craving someone else’s reality
stuck in an endless self made catastrophe
BECAUSE i just sit and wonder
what life’s really like while it moves on without me
everything moves on without me
there’s no use in waiting for me
my feet likely grafted to the floor
my head in the clouds but firmly planted gaze
on the floor
I AM THE SUN,
says i but so long ago we figured out
the sun’s burning out
and it doesn’t have anybody anyway,
just a solitary star
with all the planets around
circling circling circling
on their own little courses
to whatever end,
(but they’re moving)
with all their moons and dust
occasionally lined up
to force some kind of reaction from the universe
while i
sit idly by
so just like every other star
so just like everyone else
i
crave your reality while i
don’t do a thing to fix mine
wish wish wish wish
my vocabulary has disintegrated
into i wish and i’m sorry i
(‘m not good enough, i
never really was)
i
am in love with the wind but
it’s always leaving me behind
a shattered allegory
of humanity
broken in and rusting, maybe
left out too long in the rain

the other day
i saw the perfect sky for a rainbow
only one thing was missing:
the rainbow.