Sooooo…
You say you don’t like it when you speak about others publicly…does that mean it’s better to gossip?
You say that you don’t like it when people stick their noses in other people’s business…but isn’t your involvement in this doing just that? Correct me if I am wrong please, but I just thought this was between me and my brother…whom I was gracious enough to not name, because whoever knew already knew and those who didn’t, wouldn’t.
Should I smile and pretend to be happy for someone when in all reality I am not, I am not only disappointed, but shocked at how easily not only does one get away with it, but everything goes back to happy wonderful yay time? I’m sorry but life is about consequence and I have been paying the consequence for not only mine, but many other’s mistakes too…so pardon me if I am a bit agitated and bitter towards that person for how easy they have it.
As far as hating goes…no. Because as lonely as my life has become…and the much lonelier it’s gonna get because of this, I would rather be honest, upfront, and stay my ass on the line than take shortcuts, use people, lie, cheat, and fake my way through. No. I don’t hate, I pity this person. I can’t imagine how hard it’s gotta be to keep up such a facade all the time.
You say it’s okay and that person is FAMILY…sorry, but blood doesn’t make us family. Family is a people united. When I don’t do what they do, they shun. That’s not family. When I don’t say what they want me to say, that’s not family. I don’t have unconditional love. Please. I am the reason why one of yous was able to get her baby after being a dirty heroine addict her whole pregnancy. My clean urine got you home free with your kids. I’m the one who took the abuse but turned back around and came running back because I loved. Because Family was FAMILY. You know what? I was young and dumb when all that happened. By the way, I never stopped loving, I just asked the person to stay out of my life. Yeah my life is a mess, and what I am trying to do at the moment is pick up the pieces…which means I don’t have time for that person’s drama…dealing with my own. They didn’t want to stay away, so I said what was on my mind.
I’m not the bitch here. The bitch is the one who went crying and twisted everything so that everyone could feel sorry for him. It’s fine. I don’t want your pity, your loyalty, or your love. I don’t need it. As long as I have God and my two kids, I’m good with the world.
That’s all I have to say. And hey, I even put it on my diary instead of Facebook just to show there’s no hard feelings.