Anxiety

I’m going to be taking the boys to Cali this weekend and Donny isn’t coming with because his new job sucks and he works weekends. I REALLY don’t want to go but I told the kids about Knotts already and I can’t take it back. There’s some relief in knowing I’m only a four hour drive from home, but this is the first time I’ll be doing it alone. My brother is excited to have us over though, so that’s comforting. Also, I get to spend the first half of Saturday with my dad. Everyone wants to see us though, and I’m already overwhelmed. I just want to come home and I haven’t even left yet.

I can’t wait for Friday…test results from my physical. I’m hoping all results are normal. They usually are- my brain is screwed up and wants to quit but my body keeps going.

So for my QBIS class my final score was 79/80 and I’m pissed. 98.75% is good to most people, but to me its just another example of failure. “So close…”, except all ‘so close’ means is ‘not enough’.

On the home front things are okay…heck, one might even say its good. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to fuck it up.

I know, I know…”stop being so negative”. If only it were that easy.