Gerty…. (5)

Johnny was exhausted from the day and dinner made it difficult to stay awake. Gerty continued to be on the move with her pacing and inability to be calm, let alone rest. Gerty sensed that Johnny needed to sleep so she did not try to engage him in much talk but let his dreams take him away. Gerty turned on the television and was satisfied to listen to the dull droning of the home shopping network. Gerty had no interest in the news or the chance the police may be looking for them. The police were no concern to Gerty or anyone else for that matter. There was nothing or no one left in life that could shake her foundation. The foundation crumbled a long time ago. Gerty was living on hate and revenge.

Gerty turned and stared at Johnny as he slept. Johnny was a man. Johnny could become a daddy. Johnny likes sex. Gerty turned and looked at the backpack which sat on top of the dresser.

Johnny didn’t want anything from me. Johnny wanted to do things for me. Johnny will always take me places. Johnny is a keeper.

Johnny started to feel reality come back into his mind. The television was on but there was more sounds in the room. Gerty was sitting at the end of the bed softly singing in rhyme again. The television made it difficut to hear but Johnny stayed still and concentrated on the words. It was very clear that Gerty still was singing familiar words that he has caught before. Johnny knew that these words meant alot more than a young women singing childhood nursery rhymes.

behind the box, behind the clothes
no where where my daddy goes

lay me down in my bed
do whatever daddy said

never whisper never tell
God will send you straight to hell

it my fault I’m a flirty
daddy calls me dirty Gerty

daddy warns if something said
God will make me very dead

Gerty felt the need for Johnny next to her so she undressed, slipped under the covers and curled up close to Johnny. Johnny was warm and his slow breathing soothed her. Gerty trusted no one but this one was different. Johnny had a black hole in his heart like hers and she sensed that he would never be a Daddio. Johnny would wish himself dead before that. Gerty knew that Johnny would rather be dead. Gerty thought she would never let that happen. Gerty would be glad to help make that never happen. Gerty knows that would make Johnny happy. Gerty liked the idea of Johnny being happy. 

Johnny awoke to a raging scream of terror and death. Gerty was screaming and flailing under the covers of the bed. It sounded like someone had poured gasoline on her and threw a match. Johnny instinctively grabbed her in a bear hug while she beat him her arms and wildly kicked at nothing and every thing. 

Gerty had fallen asleep.

Johnny just kept saying her name. First loudly to awake her and then slowly calming his voice to get Gerty back to the real world. Gerty struggled against his strong grip but eventually she calmed to the point where her exhaustion brought her back to some awareness of her surroundings. Gerty, still breathing hard, collapsed into the closet thing she knew to loving arms since the death of her mother. Drenched in sweat and still clouded in dreams that had escaped she said nothing but lay with eyes open and a tear soaked face.  
Johnny softly kissed her lips. Gerty hadn’t let anyone kiss her mouth in years. Kissing is for lovers. Lovers turn into daddy’s and mommies.Gerty liked Johnny’s kiss. Gerty kissed Johnny back. Gerty decided that Johnny’s arms is where she was happy to be for the moment. Johnny was helping her dreams go back behind her eyes. Johnny was a keeper.