Blog by default

I just finsihed deleting a rhymie ditty because it left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth…I write for entertainment purposes and that one did not fly. I do not wish bad karma on others so why look for it in my own life. Any way I thought I would do something horrible silly and completely different if I can actually pull this off. I am fairly bad at talking about myself and people note me to try to get myself out of my dark box so I am going to try one of those blog questionaires

1. Do you have any regrets? Of course. I am employed….I would prefer to be able to choose my path without the restrictions geographically….

2. Do you have a deep, dark secret? Hell yes…."a" deep dark secret…where to begin…

3. Have you ever hurt someone? Emotionally for sure. I am divorced. As a kid hell we were constantly beating on each other.

4. Have you ever self-harmed? Not on purpose but some college drinking days I came out fairly rough, crashed my bike while impaired especially on campus. Lived dangerously but no cutting or anything like that…

5. How would you like to be remembered? Sadly as a great writer…..

6. Who are the three most important people in your life? I don’t think that way….My brother i guess but I have bonding issues…

7. Was there one event that changed your life and the way you think?  College…in many many ways…some way to inappropriate to explain here…

8. Would you sacrifice everything for love? ridiculous…everything. would you not be also sacrificing the love if you sacrificed "everything"

9. Are you afraid of dying? I guess so especially since I have no choice how I will die…

10. Have you ever been abused? Yep….childhood douche bag step father was a real treat…

11. Have you ever been in love? by age 16 I certainly believed I was in love….

12. Are you happy with who you are? I am happy or thankful for many thinks but there is always room for improvement…I need to be a bit more generous…a little less sleazy in my thinking. Some times I feel I have too much irrational thought.sociopathic stuff. It’s the unbonded child all growd up…but I try to be aware of it.

13. Would you ever give up your life to save someone else’s? I believe so…I think that there is an instinct within that fires that thought process in crisis.

14. Have you changed at all in the last year?  Not really

15. Would you ever settle for someone you didn’t feel was “the one”?  that ship has already sailed….

16. Is there someone you can tell everything to without fear of judgment? I believe not. Again the everything word…

17. Are you pursuing your dreams? trying too….Ultimately i wish to be independant of the 8 to 5 job…getting cloaser but my greed seems to drive farther than I need….

18. Do actions speak louder than words? sure do.

19. Is there something you would never do?  Yep….

20. What makes you uncomfortable? the inability to have faith in others. I would like to be intimate on so many levels with people and our society makes that notion almost criminal…but the problem with my intimacy is in the fleeting nature which i can maintain it…since we all multiply interact the intimacy cannot be defined personally, sexually and especially exclusively…therefore since I feel I am an odd duck I am uncomfortable trying…like ther effort is not longer worth the limited liklihood of success..Hmmm I don’t know what just wrote makes sense to me now that I read it so it probably sounds fairly  shallow and foolish to others…well I typed it so here it stays….

Well I gave it a shot…