Mysterious ways

Yesterday was the worst feeling I ever had. I couldn’t believe and imagine myself that I uttered those words –  I begged to God that I should rather get a serious illness so I will just die early… 😑

Our mind is strangely complex – it’s even the root of all the things we do and have done in the past. But I always get reminded by my mentor that it’s only “US” that can control our mind not the other people. Learn to control our subconscious mind for it is so powerful. But still while thinking those advises of my mentor, I was still drowning with my own tears while lying in my bed. God did works in a mysterious ways. He made me feel that I am not alone coz my phone rang and I checked on it , it’s my boyfriend calling. At first, I get rid of it coz I dont want him to know that I am crying but he was so persistent so I answered him.

I poured everything to him all my worries, my negative emotions and scary thoughts I have for several days already. That was the very first time I opened up my anxieties to him. He already knew about it long before but last night was the first time that I shared everything the reason why I am feeling this way. He listened and let me speak up until I shut up. He offered me comforting words and  even told me to change my sad songs played in the background. I should listen to positive and lively ones.

Indeed God sent a helping hand and an angel. I felt better and light, no more heavy  and deep sighs after that call. Arrgg! God forgive me for being so vulnerable, I may not be the strongest person you ever have but I will do my best to win this battle. I will!!