Gabapentin

I am going on day 2 of this drug. I was concerned about taking it because I have history major side effects of drugs, I have nerve damage due to surgery. The doctor got back to me, which gave me hope I might have surgery again 6 months from now if not fixed. I decided to try the drug. It feel same as Gummies of POT, yea I did sleep little better I ran outside saying drone of aliens are going attack us, i ran into the wall few times, I felt drunk as much as high but I didn’t touch gummies or alcohol, I just had this wacky pill. I will say it mellowed my anxiety, see when I am on POT, it nice but I get fixate on things, excitable and when going off I get very bad mood swing which I dont want to do with my job. So I tried this med on day I wasn’t working last night, it suppose keep my bladder waking me up burning, i still woke up one time I felt burning, it didn’t last long, I think I only woke up twice which is good I usually wake up 3-7  times, usually 3-14 times last 20 years and in 2023 and 2024 prior surgery 20 to 30 times, Mark my ex said it was 20 the night i was at his house, I would be in bathroom 1 to 5 hours straight.. back then before surgery. I am not getting tremors anymore after 20 years of waking up like I was having seziure needing to pee. Now burning, doc says the body need heal itself, going take time. I appreciate him getting back to me, still considering second opinions, I went see my old docs two which refuse see me, one ran out the room on me, screamed at me.. one office manager screamed at me… I was scared that my recent doc had enough of me was doing same, I couldnt get appointment, out no where he called me on his cell phone, said look this what I think going on, your not going be 100. I am still having frequency issues not as bad as before, I have better stream of pee coming out.

This drug really makes me stress free I just dont care as much mind fuck shit like usually do..that nice.. I feel dumb as shit and tired today, tonight I will try it again, not helping bladder spasm during the day.I went text my doc office manager I already freaked out on her, I had UTI with blood and she was stalling in giving me antibiotics… I dont have uti anymore… I am looking see new general doc help me with all these urologust I made appointment more urologist. My older urologist why you seeing so many of us, I am like you damn people not fixing me, I am not sleeping, your not solving problem

My recent doc is trying, he did surgery on my bladder, he trying… maybe he right it needs time.

As for my life, my job I am just overwhelmed, I am scared this medicine I am going move slow.. be bad at my job..

Mark thing has me very stressed out… why did I reopen the door, he messages me lot how you feeling, how you doing, which super nice, then makes comment how he horny, yea I had sex with him, i told him i cant keep doing this I am going get hurt, he will say I dont want hurt you..

It just really making me look at him in negative way… why he keep popping back in my life see how I am doing, why does he care? doesn’t really care just want access to use me for sex? I try express my feeling feel times, he belittled the experience … got nervous, shut it down, doesnt communicate, maybe he sleeping another girl..

I keep thinking about friends who truly cared about me said cut ties… and how they had my best interest, not sure how get rid of him. I wasn’t exactly right for blocking him out no where last time, he has been so helpful surgery and being there, at same time I dont trust his intentions at this point, he not old mark, he not this amazing bf who says he loves me, treats me so well, there for me.. I miss that.. he instead this guy who guarded, who i made mistakes in past, but he treats me less then, lot of mean things he said few months ago sticks with me, like I need be passive, recently made comment how I am too shy with some of his froends, I am autistic I explained this too him…hurt my feelings…

He doesnt digest who I am.. I get annoyed him being negative, not bc I have problem negative people, more I find it reflection of how he feels about me, if I was his dream girl he would be happy all time, if I was tara his friend wife, he would never be negative with her, bc she is ideal..he looks down on me, this why he act like this, I am not his dream girl, he never wanted marry or live with me, I was less then, i thought he loved me he said it in past all his words now make me think he never loved me, his actions calling me after surgery or asking if he can help, makes me think he did care, does.. maybe he cares but looks down on me, like I am retarted ex, I am retart and he needs to feel bad for it, so he does nice things and can fuck it but he doesnt want any involvement nor did he ever love it..

Last night he text me I was wacked out on this drug I kept talking about aliens and sex and alien babies.. This med is something else

I am going stay on 1 week go off of it friday night.. you need go off few days side effect goingoff are something.

My life kind of fucked up… this is going be wacky week