I’ve had it…..

OK…that’s it……..

My parents are officially crazy and I am done with trying to be a daughter to them. All my damm life I have tried to be a good daughter to them. I was always compared to my sister. I am the black sheep and she is the angel. Well…this is the last straw. I’m done. They only pay attention to me when I’m sick going through a sickle cell crisis….but wait…not even. Anytime I do get sick…it’s like I’m bothering them. I call them when I’m crying or in pain…..and what do I get?? I’ll get…” Oh DeeJ..just take your meds…you’ll be fine” or (I love this one) “It’ll pass, don’t worry”. WOW….having a sickle cell crisis is like having a building fall on you…or having a door slam against your body over and over again. Now….mind you, I have dealt with this for ever. My dad….being the doctor he thinks that giving me money will be good. He’ll tell me to go shopping and buy myself something. WHAT???? That’s not love. My mother….well…she is a manic depressant on meds herself…..But she will get angry with me when I get sick. I know, that’s crazy. I’ve wanted my mom to be a mom…and care and hold me when I’m feeling down, happy, sick, whatever. But I rarely got that. Still don’t get it. She would make me feel bad for telling her that I was in pain or sick. She has said that if she knew that I would be born with this disease she would not of had me. Yea…..real nice mom…thanks.

But Let me get to the real pissed off moment that I have going on. So… as you know my dad is a doctor (Anesthesiologist, how ever you spell it) and he goes to medical confrence sometimes and the hospital pays for everything. So this time the confrence is in Las Vegas. Great….He decides to take my mother this time with him, Great…..Ok. So they have been gone since Tuesday afternoon. Alright cool….so I called my parents that morning. Mind you my dad was watching television and is distracted during our phone call. The call went something like this:

Me: Hey dad!! What are you doing?

Dad: HUH?…Oh…watching T.V.

Me: Oh ok….getting ready for Las Vegas?

Dad: (silence)

Me: DAD???….Daddy???

Dad: oh yea yea yea….I’m here…

Me: getting ready for Las Vegas?

Dad: Yup….all ready to go. (more silence…I can hear the TV at this point)

Me: OK…where’s mom?

Dad: She sleeping….

Me: oh ok….well, I’ll call you guys back before you leave…

Dad: Huh?? Oh ok then…talk to you soon… Cal back later…(click)

What a convo huh??? Yea…I know….well….later on I called back, but they left for the airport already. OK fine….so I come home from work that night and call my dad’s cell. He is the only on with a cell. I get no answer. I call a few more times, I get no answer. Now, I’m freaking out. I continue to call and call. No progress. Here comes Wednesday…I still call…no answer, I leave messages like fu*kin crazy. OK..here’s Thursday….I keep calling no answer. I finally decide to call my sister. WHY the hell…has she spoken to my parents like everyday??? She tells me how great they are doing and how my mother won some money at the slot machines…..She apparently has spoken to them everyday since they got there. WHAT THE FUCK???? She basically has their fucking itinerary….Now why the hell hasn’t my parent’s called me back?? They haven’t picked up their phone not once to call me. I have no messages, or even missed calls. I seriously feel like a step child. If your away, wouldn’t you call ALL of your kids to let them know your ok????

I feel all fucked up inside and out. I’m upset. I’m hurt. I’m angry. It’s like my parent’s don’t give a shit about me. And this is not the first time they have done this…. How the hell am I suppose to feel right now. My parents don’t even visit me at my apartment. My mother has not stepped foot in my apartment since I first moved in. That is fucking sad….Oh my god. I am beyond pissed. I feel like my parents really favor my sister more. How does that make someone feel??? It is so clear that they do. And I am so hurt right now.
What a fucked up feeling.
I just want them to give me the same respect they give to my sister…that’s all I ask. Is that hard to do??

Deej