Have you forgotten…………

From a previous entry:

I wrote this last year…………..

My first thought this morning was………..todays  youth will never know September 11th as just another day.

Remember when…………..around the 11th meant school just started a week or two before……..and it was still hot outside…………..so when you came home from school you threw your shorts on and went out to play/went to the beach/did normal summer type stuff…………..

Remember when…………….around the 11th meant the school buses were back out and you had to watch out for little munchkins running across the street again………………

I spent the day at work, it was just another day………….talked a little about 9/11, read a few things………………..then came home and read my sisters blog………………….and its funny how when its so in your face and obvious you don’t react……….but when its sweet and subtle and just a "lil bit" you react so much stronger………………I KNOW I am not the only one that feels this way……………….

We have not forgotten…………………………….

Here it is a year after I wrote that, six years after………………..

We still have not forgotten, and we never will…………….

9/11/09

Today was a normal day, just like every other day. I got up (after oversleeping) and fed the cats and got ready for work. I stopped at the store on the way to work for smokes and noticed an older man wandering around the little store. Wondered what he was doing since it was barely 5:30. Went off to work and pretended to get some stuff done. Then I hung out and chatted with some of my co-workers and then pretended to get some more work done.

I am usually out by noon on fridays, today was closer to one (grumble.)

I headed for fashion bug because I had a ten dollar off coupon and needed some new bras. As I turned into the mall parking lot "have you forgotten" came on the radio-and I got that feeling in my throat. You know the one, when you try not to cry.  So I sat and listened. And tried not to cry.

I then sucked it up and went inside the store. Everything was kind of hazy, so I grabbed my stuff and headed out. Traffic was horrible, what usually takes me about ten minutes took me closer to twenty. I grabbed all my stuff out of my car, chatted with my neighbor for a bit and came inside.

I was going to eat the applebees we got at work, but still wasn’t hungry.

I sat down at my desk, and finally…………I cried.

I cried for all the people who died on 9/11 who will never be able to grumble about getting out at ONE INSTEAD OF NOON.

And I cried for our soldiers who have died, are dying, will die-for something none of us really understand. And for the soldiers who will NOT die, but will carry the horrible memories of the things they see and have to do.

And I cried for the babies in this world who will never be old enough to need a bra.

And for the people who could have used that eighteen bucks to feed their family for months.

For the people who can’t even afford a tylenol for a headache or toothache or any ache.

For the ones who know nothing but pain their whole lives.

And I cried for me, a selfish fucking spoiled rotten american who has so much more than she deserves. And if you asked the next guy would say I have NOTHING.

I also cried for the stupid selfish fucking spoiled rotten americans who drive around in a mercedes or some other expensive vehicle-who shoot looks of envy at the guy who just bought the newest model. Just the tires alone on that vehicle would have fed a starving family for months, maybe years and you want a BETTER car??

I cried because there are people who love me, maybe not many-but what about that poor veteran sitting in a hospital that everyone has forgotten about?

And I cried for that damn mole my cat killed the other day. I  KNOW its the circle of life. BUT I DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE IT.

And I cried………………………………………..

 

And if this was not the most confusing entry, I don’t know what is.

 

We have not forgotten, and we never will.

 

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