Exhaustion.

It has been 14 months since he broke up with me. 14 months of hardships and I am still not where I thought I would be.

I used to believe in love and human beings for most part. But now everything is just different.

I thought I would be back to believing by now but I am not and honestly that just breaks my heart and I think I resent myself. Its nuts I know, but it is what it is. I guess on some level I still hate him. I want to stop it, for my own self. I really haven’t smiled properly in 14 months. And all of it is justified! I was never rejected before. I gave everything I had to him and the relationship but it still failed. Everyone told me that it ended because he is an asshole, it might be true but I don’t care about that part anymore. I care about what I have lost, my belief in love and human beings! I am determined to believe again but I just don’t know how to get there! 🙁