world spins madly on.

i knows tha feelin.

I know exactly what you mean. I hardly ever write here anymore. I feel very exposed on this site and I think it has something to do with how vicious people can be here. Makes me gun shy. I still read pretty regularly and saw all that occured the last two days in OD land. I can’t say it surprises me though, that sort of stuff seems right underneath the surface all the time around these parts.

i know what u mean.

it used to be different, indeed.

I don’t write much for the very same reason… People are just…nasty. It seems that everyone wants to sit and hide behind this anonymous name on the Internet and take jabs at other people they don’t even know just so they don’t feel as bad…that whole bring people down to your level thing. It’s very unfortunate, really. I don’t care to expose myself to that nonsense, and I hate that the people that I love reading most are all leaving for the reason I’m not writing. I’ve done the favorites only thing, but it’s still just weird. I hope things work out best for you. Take care.

it’s not just you.

understandable.

I completely agree. The anonymity of the computer screen seems to make people think that they can say whatever they want, however hurtful. It’s only gotten more pronounced in the past few years.

I noticed a big difference in OD right after 9/11. Things changed and people were more serious and afraid to open themselves up on OD. The internet has made the world a very small place now. I know this personally because even though I have very few readers and noters on OD another ODer found me and she only lives a few miles from me. It only took a few entries to figure this out even though..

I don’t advertise where I live. I don’t even give the state. Still I was found by someone that close to home. Its scary now to open up as much as before just in case I would run into this person somewhere and she would be introduced to me and I hate the thought she might say hey aren’t you on Open diary?

After what happened with your boss&OD, I’m not at all surprised you feel that way. Sometimes when OD feels full of catty people, I go and search those new to it. Those who are still excited by the writing and the discoveries, those not too into this as a “community.”

I wonder if it is true about Pete ….if he did give his cat cocaine I hope he rots in hell. Him and coked out hooch.

“It’s not just me, and it’s not just you—this is all around the world.” –Paul Simon

It’s obviously off for a lot of us, the lot of us who are not writing like we used to. I wonder if OD was new to us again, if we hadn’t seen years of drama and cruelty and backstabbing, if we would be content to put it all out there without reservation.

i agree on how OD is lately. its not the same, i used to write here everyday but its a totally different crowd here and i cant get myself to write anything interesting. take care, good luck this semester of school.

i’ve been privatizing a lot too. just think it’s dumb to have that much of my life out there, as if I’m asking for it.

OD is still the same. we are different. oh well.

I’m the same way about my entries. I’ll feel exposed then go private or favs only. Writing here comes and goes as well but I do like reading and enjoy yor diary as well as a handful of others.

ryn Thank you. Cici already broke into my Facebook and made it my profile pic, I think.

RYN: Your mom’s diary was one of the first I read when I joined. She’s on my favs, but doesn’t write often. Thanks for your notes about Michelle.

Agreed. I miss the way things used to be, even though I have no idea what exactly has changed.

ryn: It’s “gimme more.” I’ve heard the other one too. “gimme more” is the better one.

ryn: i was kinda joking. i knew the gist of it – but you put it so eloquently…and i appreciated your explanation – very clear and concise. ooooh…you so smaaart and purdy!

i totally agree. OD was a much, much different place for me a few years ago. I don’t know when it changed, or I did, but it’s just not the same. I still come here every day though. Weird.

OD is not as anonymous as it used to be for the old timers. That’s why it’s so difficult to write anything of substance (or anything at all in my case). —

You rock. Thanks. Headed out and will check this out tomorrow.

Just stopping in to say hi.

ryn;; Why thank you, darling! ♥The pictures above my mirror are just random pictures that I either took myself or found on Flickr or Google, and then printed out. Beforehand, I measured the length of the mirror & then sized the images so they’d go all the way across—e.g., 20 inches = four five-inch-wide pictures or five four-inch-wide pictures. Once they were sized, I just printed them,cut them out & arranged them. Quick, easy and totally painless.

I think, to a certain degree, that a few years ago, OD was a true community…. now it seems like just a place to write. We’ve gotten older, and have found our way, so to speak, so we need this place less, and in its own way, it needs our “community” less, too… I don’t know. Just call me a babbler tonight. In any case, I am changed, too, just changed away from OD, to a certain degree.

ryn Because I’m not attracted to her sexually anymore, and without that present, you only have friendship. We have seriously intense friendship, and she is family. If my partner had an issue with our friendship, the relationship would probably fail–not my friendship with Cici. I don’t think it’s a ‘lesbian’ thing. It’s not as common in the hetero world, but a lot of people stay friends with their exes. If I loved her enough to be with her for seven years, obviously we enjoy each other’s company. Also, it’s quite obvious to everyone around us there is nothing there but strong friendship and familial love, so I don’t think anyone would ever be worried (though Julia was jealous of our closeness for sure).

Came on over from J2’s diary just to tell you that I am in love with your new L.A.M.B. purse. I might die of envy. And you looked bee-yew-tee-ful as always. Take care!

Yeah, OD four years ago or more was awesome…but then again, we’ve all changed in that time, too.

ryn- hahaha…i wasn’t implying that you were being stalker-ish. are you favs only?

🙂

I know how you feel. I’ve recently blocked everyone who has a private diary but who’s added me to their favourite’s list because I can’t even get to their diary to read them! That gets to me.. good luck x

ryn OMG the fly-aways are by far my favourite. Because I straighten my hair, I ALWAYS have fly-aways in photos. I will send you any that I eventually want to use as profile pictures any time soon! Ha.

RYN: The women who bleach their hair and tan very dark are called kogals. “Ko” means burnt, and then “gals” is just borrowed from English. There’s an even more extreme form of kogals called yamababas after a mountain witch that’s a Japanese folk legend, and those chicks are SCARY. I saw a few kogals in Japan, but no yamababas, which was fine by me! I think Gothic Lolitas are really cool looking, though. If you’re interested in Japanese street fashion, I recommend a series of books called Fruits, and there’s also one called Japanese Schoolgirl Inferno that goes into all the different Japanese fashion crazes. Also, when you go to MOCA, you might want to hit Kinokuniya, the big bookstore nearby, and look at their fashion magazine selection. A couple of them are devoted entirely to kogals and/or Gothic Lolitas.

Also, no idea what that other museum is! And, and, and…if you like cream puffs, they just opened a Beard Papa in the shopping mall there. I had one and it was kind of messy, but WELL worth the effort. Warm pastry cradling vanilla custard (with flecks of vanilla beans in it)…heaven.

ryn: I wouldn’t take it. I’m pretty much the only person who remembers him already. You have a kind of – duty – to remember? If you failed someone in every other way?

RYN: I would recommend going in January. Unfortunately, I think the lines may be crap no matter when you go, but I’m thinking that it shouldn’t be too bad by then. Or, if you could go during a weekday at any point, I bet it would be tolerable! I absolutely would NOT go in February, because it closes in the middle of February, so everyone who hasn’t seen it yet will be rushing to get in.

Thought of you yesterday, we went to see our friend Haley singing last night and the last band on were ‘A Fine Frenzy’ from LA, all my Lanky Freelancers want to marry the singer – apparently she ended up in a lift in her bathrobe with Pete Doherty by accident this week – I know not how.