millions.

In 3 months, Max will be here.

We thought we’d be having a girl. Or rather, I was dead positive it would be a girl and I think I convinced Eric of it along the way with how certain I was. I had a feeling, for one. Just this giant, overwhelming from the beginning feeling. I think I figured since my mom and I have such a close, wonderful relationship it would be the natural extension of that. I’d have a little girl who would grow into my best friend also. That’s just how it works, right? Ha.
But yeah, it didn’t even take me a minute to be utterly certain I’d have a girl- just a foregone conclusion as opposed to a deep hope, if that makes sense.

When we went for the big 3D ultrasound, that morning I still didn’t really question that the baby would be anything but a girl. Hell, we’d chosen a name for her weeks prior and I’d even brought home a few little things with her perfect girl name on it!

So we’re laying there, staring at the giant flat screen on the wall watching the doctor looking at different parts on the baby, measuring this and that and she asks: “so do you want to know what you’re having?”

We say yes, and as she starts saying ” it is… definitely… a… boy…” And I swear everything went all topsy-turvy cinematic on me. Her voiced slowed down in my head and things got blurry and I could NOT believe it. I was SHOCKED. Swear I had ringing in my ears the way you do after adrenaline mixed with utter surprise floods your body.

Eric started laughing a teeny bit but with this giant grin on his face and tears in his eyes as I’m staring at him, wide eyed like, can you believe this?!?

Which, as it turned out, was probably one of the coolest, best moments of our lives, somewhat akin to when we found out I was pregnant (which happened in New Orleans and was just surreal incredible).

We took the day off and had a late lunch and strolled around The Grove, one of our favorite places, just in this…daze. A euphoric daze. We kept watching part of the sonogram on our phones (he had uploaded it to youtube for the grandparents-to-be), and staring at each other with crazy-eyed, can you BELIEVE this expressions every 20 minutes.

Its not that a boy is better than a girl. Its that we were so completely floored. We got this humongous, joyous ‘fix’, if you will and it lasted for days. It was glorious. It still is. Its amazing how utterly and deeply happy expecting a little one has made us. Everything is wrapped in this amazing silver baby-to-be lining in ways that have exceeded my happy quotient expectations, even!

So, because we were certain it was to be a girl and had that name all ready to go, in the doctors office that day, right before we were finished we were in the room alone for a few minutes and were like, “Holy hell. What are we going to NAME him???”

E suggested Tyler, to which I gently declined. “I don’t know. I like the name but its so common now.” And he agreed after I put it that way.

The deal was: we both had to really like any name for it to be a consideration. If one of us had an aversion or lackluster feelings for, the other would drop it. No one would have to be convinced of anything. We both would love or it was off the table. That’s how it went for the girl name and it worked.

I said “well, you know how I feel about names with ‘x’ in them…” (I.e. I am ridiculously in love them)

I had suggested ‘Dex’ for a boys name a few weeks prior as something I loved should we have a second child and it came out a boy (ha!). That one didn’t go over well with Eric, so I thought I’d suggest some others.

“What about Max or Alex or Paxton or…”

“Alex won’t work. James (a close friend) named his son Alex. That would be too weird. Max? Hmmm. I don’t know…”. He said with a dubious expression.

“Out of all the ‘x’ names, Max is my absolute favorite. Ever. I’m actually weirdly jealous of people named Max I love it so much! And I won’t even suggest Dex again…” I said hopefully. He was still looking hesitant, though.

The doctor came back in then so the conversation ceased. On the way to the car, down in the parking garage, he said “so what would Max be short for? Maximilian?”

“Yep.”

“Hmmm. Maximilian. I like that. Max. Actually, its really growing on me.”

“Really???” I felt like jumping up and down. I’m mental when it comes to names, always have been. And Max is seriously in the my top 3 Best Names For A Male In The Whole Damn Universe.

By the time we arrived home 20 minutes later, Max it was. Well, Maximilian, but we’ll call him Max mostly. And we both just completely love it. And I’m one happy mental patient name obsession girl.