daylight
November 11, 2003

bitch.

Meredith from I Don’t Remember Prods. calls and asks for me. Not feeling like dealing, I pretend to be someone other than myself and say that the real me is busy. Can I take a message, the fake me asks helpfully.

“Yeah, we just wanted to invite her to a few parties this weekend.”

“Ok, and where are they,” I ask, pretending to be jotting it down.

“Thursday night at White Lotus, Friday at Avalon, Saturday at the Grand Opening of Pearl. The number to call back is…”

“Great. Thanks. Got it.”

With the exception of Pearl, I’ve heard of these places. They are usually the venues in which you have seen various celebrities partying it up at in the front pages of US Weekly. They’re the Clubs Du Jour. I have no idea how my name got on that promoter’s list. I haven’t been to a club in fucking decades. I am simply not cool anymore.

You want to know what I’ll be doing this weekend? Having beauty night at the home of a gay friend’s place in the valley. It will be girls and boys who like boys. It will be sweats and paraffin wax and gay porn. I’ll see the boy, maybe go listen to some live music. What I won’t be doing however, is going to any of these parties.

When did I become so elderly?

A few weeks ago when I had that little mini-party for myself I treated me to a couple of new tops, one in red, one in black. I’m so used to buying clothes to go out in, having done it for years and years (Wear the same thing? Are you kidding?) that it didn’t hit me until today when I saw the red one, scrunched up in the bag, tag still on, that I don’t actually go out that much anymore .

At least not to places like those. Places like those where I’d spend both Friday and Saturday and maybe even Tuesday night at, searching for a dozen Mr. Rights. And I’d be so proud of myself too. I’d flaunt it like a badge, thinking I was so damn cool for having been ‘in the know’.

Seriously, when the hell did I become so elderly?

I’m all for a dewy cocktail every now and then, but I’m going to have it poured for me in a small bar that reeks with character, talking to someone I actually want to be having a conversation with. I will not subject myself to the self-esteem-wrecking climate of Hollywood’s perfect bodies and perfect hair and generous helpings of name droppings.

I didn’t even write down the phone number. I’m moody like that today.

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at least you’re cool enough to be on an old list.

I’ve seen your picture…you pass just fine in that Hollywood climate. …

ValentineGuy
November 12, 2003

I hate all that “pretending to actually have a life” stuff…

~~Shazzy~~
November 12, 2003

It’s not so much about being elderly… I think its called perspective.. what’s important and what’s not so important. It just means you have grown, not aged. ( if that makes sense) be well 🙂

maybe you don’t need all that anymore. you can still go out and have a good time with people that you actually like, and that’s much better anyways! i don’t go out myself much anymore – i think i’m down to one “going out” outfit – it’s so infrequent that there’s no need for more than that!

My friend, please read the bible! Read Ephesians, Chapter 5. [FYI: All pornography is a sin!] God wants us to be HOLY, even as He is Holy! Without HOLINESS, you will not see God!

pandora
November 12, 2003

::looks up:: Is she for real, yo? I love staying in sometimes. It can so much more cerebral.

sounds a lot like me, except for the gay porn part. i’m still pretty young, but i know my good years are already behind me. were, in fact, behind me before i even started college (and yet college was ironically the best time of my life). my friends are all five-to-seven years older than me. i grew up fast that way. still, elderly or not, you do seem to effortlessly emit that ‘cool’ vibe.

~justjudy~
November 12, 2003

People call you and invite you places? Whoa. LOL

SilentSignal
November 12, 2003

*perk* gay porn? 😉

NicoleAlison
November 12, 2003

It’s called knowing when those things aren’t fun anymore. You’re not elderly. Not at all.

Black-Eyed Susan
November 12, 2003

I have that problem too–have to have at least a new shirt to go out, if not a whole outfit. It hasn’t really been a problem for me lately, since apparently I’m a recluse.

Raven E
November 12, 2003

You don’t sound elderly to me. You sound more mature. That’s a good thing. 🙂

firebabe
November 12, 2003

Ha! Just wait until someone suggests going out at 9:00 and you’re shocked because that seems so late. That’s elderly baby! I always thought Hollywood was rather esteem-building actually. After all, all those people have to pay money and work hard to get on the front page. I can make the front page with tear-away pants and a rousing rendition of “Baby Got Back.” *wink*

Lotus? Damn, I’m jealous.

PinkFaery
November 12, 2003

i wouldn’t say you are being a bitch at all. you just have your mind set on what makes you happy these days. avalon isn’t so great anyways.

RYN: I told you what the Bible says, not my opinion. My opinion is worthless. God’s opinion is the important thing. “If you lack wisdom, ask God…and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5) “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the Word, that you may grow thereby.” (I Peter 2:2) (i am only having this dialogue with you because i sincerely care)

cream
November 13, 2003

your priorities have changed. late 20’s is when we all seem to look around and go “is this really what i want?”

Satine
November 13, 2003

that last part sounds more like NY than LA. 🙂 you’ll be here soon though. the book is waiting for you. 🙂

jls
November 13, 2003

I actually went out this week, but only because I was somewhere completely unfamiliar and without the boy. I hadn’t been out in ages before that. I have my 31-year-old boss telling me that I’m like her grandmother, but really, I think she might be jealous that I don’t have to go out to bars hunting for something to fill up my evenings.

like.this
November 13, 2003

I don’t think it is a matter of getting older, I think it is a matter of maturity and getting over the same old crap… ryn: there just has to be! you should go to weshots.com and research some of their companies that they get their pictures from, seriously!

I agree with Shazzy’s assessment of the situation. And you are by no means elderly! Take it from someone who knows elderly! 🙂

Paris
November 13, 2003

I’m the same way. I prefer conversation any day.

bob
November 13, 2003

ryn: just for you, baby.

~Wings~
November 13, 2003

ryn: I have only talked to half the men in LA. The other half aren’t worth talking to. Seriously, I feel like I have dated half the men in this town… I am running out of men to date! eek! Actually I have never dated anyone (significantly) younger than me – maybe its time to start, but I honestly have a hard time believing my soulmate could be younger. Serial monogamy is an illness! 😉

One of the things I’m looking forward to in Montana are the small bars full of people who are there to just chill out, play some pool, and be real. It’s refreshing. People are still, of course, trying to get into someone’s pants, but it’s a whole different scene.And I look forward to it greatly.

r: I just look back at all the time I wasted in here, pining away over how my life wasn’t exactly as I wanted it to be. Instead of making positive changes, I was here griping about life. It’s not bad for everyone. It has it’s uses and keeps people connected. It’s just not good for me anymore…and yet I can’t seem to leave here permanently. The irony sickens me.

*smiles* Sounds like a great night to me! *looks up* Damn, you get a lot of notes!

Karalys
November 15, 2003

RYN:I have participated before in Adopt A Family. I’ve seen those who DO need, but I’ve also delivered a ton of donated gifts to families who had Mercedes’ parked in the driveway of their dilapidated house. All I’m saying is that the progams need a revamp. The entire system needs a revamp so that folks don’t abuse it. I’m not intimating that anyone else needs to boycott AaF, (c)

Karalys
November 15, 2003

I’m just expressing my own view,and my own experience.I’m no right-winger, believe me, I just had something I had to get off my chest. Perhaps if these programs were more tightly administered then the money and gifts could go to those who are REALLY in need, and not greedy, lazy people like Marge.I still do my share and I help where I KNOW I’m really helping someone IN NEED.~Kind Thoughts~

RYN: You said you don’t agree with my interpretation of the bible. How am I misinterpreting it?

Thanks for telling your adopt a family story on Karalys’ diary. I’m glad you were able to see what happens when legitimate clients get the help that they need. I know how good it feels to do something like that…the looks on the children’s faces are all the thanks you could ever want. (PS-i’m the one that brought up the whole adopt a family thing) ~Blessed Be~

Abbey Lane
November 16, 2003

I prefer to do low-key things now too. I’m convinced it had to do with turning 30, but I don’t miss the way I used to spend my weekend nights at all.

I think it is truly a lull in your life, a valley. Nothing more. This too shall pass!

.sjc.
November 16, 2003

Baby, you’re not elderly. Not going to those clubs and having your own fun is so much more rock-n-roll than being on the list and being let thru the velvet rope. At least that’s what I think.

RYN: Believe me, the bible is reliable! God inspired the authors. 3 of the Gospels were written by an original disciple (Matthew, Mark, John). These men actually knew Jesus in the flesh!. The reason that we even know about Jesus now is because of what they, and others (mostly Paul) wrote down.

RYN: continued…. Does it really make sense for God to send His Son to die for us, and then just leave us here on our own, with no direction? And, with no idea if we have it right or not? If He would love us enough to send Jesus to us, wouldn’t He also help us find our way to heaven – so that we can be with Him forever?

Correction (to my previous note): Mark was not one of the original 12 Apostles (Disciples of Christ). He was a traveling companion of the Apostle Peter (the “head” disciple). Sorry for the error. (and, if you go to http://www.bible-origin.com, it can give you some info on the bible)

bachelorette
November 17, 2003

actually, i’m really impressed. you’re not old, you’re just a grownup. and there IS a difference. xo.

wintercoat
November 17, 2003

I’m pretty sure jesus himself wouldn’t really get his panties in a bunch over gay porn. And you’re not elderly, you’re at the good age where you don’t drink to get drunk, you drink to relax and enjoy good conversations. That’s a good thing.

Queen Bee
November 19, 2003

older=wiser. Those places are lame when you really think about it. Sort of like the Hiltons in that they’re popular for being popular. Blah.

The Big U
November 19, 2003

the entry title cracked me up for some reason.

greyponygirl
January 30, 2004

Oh I know that elderly feeling so well. Why would anyone want me to go anywhere, especially somewhere cool? All I can talk about now is daytime television and how to detangle a dreadlocked cat – and then I realised that’s probably all I ever spoke about anyway.

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