I think i’ve given up :(

I think i’ve know really realized something, that nothing is ever going to really going to happen with us. He does like me, but not enough for anything to happen.

Today, this was after lunch we were walking to our 5th period class, he came upstairs with me, whcih he’s never done before, i didn’t care either way. we stop at the landing and he asks do you want a kiss? Now the first thing a girl would think, would be a real one, so I said sure, but no, he hands up a chocolate one. In that, what 2 minutes, i even leaned over confused but excited at the same moment. He even leaned over too, he did it in a way to build up suspension sort of, i don’t know.  I felt like such an idiot. I know it wasn’t my fault for thinking that. O well, then we left.

After school he was came to my locker and he appologized, which i liked, but still. We talked for a while and we shook hands. I felt bad for my friend cause i walk with ehr and she was waiting around for me.. o well she found someone to talk to.

So now online we talk, He said “I’ll never do that, it was kinda mean” I should have made that all his fault, but i ended up making it mine to, by saying i should have thought about it for a moment…. i don’t know… i couldn’t think of anything., errrr  then he said “if i wasn’t in love with my best friend, i really might have kissed you.”

 O my goodness… don’t tell me that. You know that really gives someones hopes up. I didn’t/ sort of don’t care about his best friend, but comments like that makes me really wish he never had her. So he follows it up with “i like you” which i do like him as well. then mostly the rest of our convo was commenting me. which i like as well.. but errrr.

So now i know nothing will happen unless he gets amnesia and forgets about her, andi take advantage of him, other wise he’s gonna always think of her.

How can he love someone and like someone else too. errrrr. errrrr.

Well i must go now, have to try and study for a math test… i don’t see that happening.

Andrea