Once upon a time…

There was a little girl, who looked fine on the outside, but on the inside she is broken. So broken that all the Kings horses and the Queens knaves couldn’t put her back together. She wonders why they would want to? Why should she want them too? If you look at her, in the corner of her eyes you might glimpse what’s underneath her shell. (Maybe she’s an M&M?)

Every time she gets knocked down and has to stand up again she leaves shards of herself behind, never to be gained again. There are days where she cries and cries, and then later when she WANTS to cry she cant because she doesn’t remember how.

It doesn’t matter, because there is no one to see it, judge it, to hate her. Except for herself, she’s always there to see, to judge, to hate.

The girl is now a woman, is still all these things, but she’s learned to fight, scream, throw a tantrum. She’s learned how to hide herself better, lie easier, pretend nothing bothers her, it all gets easier  every day, she’s even believing It until she walks past a mirror and looks in the corner of her eye.

Someday it’ll be okay. Keep  walking   one step and then another. Whistle while you work. Smile when you can. Say hello to strangers if they nod in your general direction.

Someday they won’t be angry at me anymore right? Some time before I die, he’ll stop wishing I were dead. Right? I’ll find away to make ammends. Sometimes I ‘ll forgive myself. I want to see my grandbabies when they finally come into this world.

I want to love and be loved.

Please be here soon.

The  End she whispers.