Another Year

Matt and Ryan came over for New Year’s. We had some snacks for dinner, played Cthulu dice a few times (I had bought it for Megan), and Ryan brought the Daria boxed set, so we watched a few episodes of that (it wasn’t quite as annoying as I remembered it, but I still didn’t think it was great… and I don’t think Megan liked it terribly much, either). We watched some Conversations with a 2 Year Old on YouTube and then watched the ball drop. We had some prosecco with chambord that Matt had brought. We then had some pork and sauerkraut, talked for a while, cleaned up some, and then went to bed.

I slept poorly… partly because I felt pretty sick. I had eaten some yogurt with a weird texture at lunch time, and then maybe drunk too much, and perhaps had too much fatty food (Megan had made crab dip, which I don’t like, as the main thing, so I mostly just ate summer sausage, boursin cheese, and crackers), so I felt pretty sick to my stomach. It was also pretty hot. Megan’s stomach kind of hurt, too. Anyhow, we got up a bit too early, so I was tired pretty much all day, but we got up anyhow, and made blueberry pancakes for breakfast. We also had the pannetone that Megan had gotten me as a Yule present, so there was plenty to eat, and there was at least some more fruit involved. Afterwards, we talked a lot, and at some point, Ryan read Tarot cards for us. Ryan’s focused on Megan’s work situation, and mine focused on overcoming my depression and coming back to a place of power. After that, Megan suggested that I should read Tarot for Matt and Ryan. I haven’t read Tarot for a really long time. In part, it’s because Megan bought me a Rider-Waite deck a while back, and I have been trying to use that one, instead of the Mythic Tarot that I randomly got when I was younger, and it hasn’t been working terribly well for me. I have an impression that maybe I should keep using the Mythic one, since it came to me under somewhat unusual circumstances. Anyhow, I was nervous about it, because I’m fairly rusty, and apparently, Matt and Ryan are quite good at reading the Tarot, going into details about the cards and such (though Ryan checks the book often), and my own readings, though often somewhat accurate, really don’t do that. I really just get an impression from the whole spread and maybe look at the pictures and the stories they suggest… and use elemental and numerological correspondences. I did it, anyway, and I got coherent narratives, but it wasn’t so much about the future, or particularly specific. I don’t think it really worked out well… but perhaps I would get better if I kept at it. I think I’ll try to in the near future. After that, and some time looking at a palmistry book that Megan had, we went out to dinner at the Point, a restaurant Matt and Ryan really liked, and it was fairly good. Matt treated, which was nice, and then they went home. Megan and I watched three episodes of Chuck afterwards, she knitted, and I meditated with my lingam for a while, which helped me a bit. We went to bed after that, and Megan talked about how she didn’t have a fun New Year. She didn’t really want to talk about it, so I don’t know what, specifically, was problematic for her, but I have a general impression if it being a lot of talking, and not about things that were of interest to us, and having entertainment that wasn’t great for us… as well as just kind of not being terribly exciting. Matt and Ryan are nice, but I think the both of us just kind of want some time to ourselves.

We were both tired again this morning, but got ready for work. Work is frustrating for me, mostly because of all of the people who keep talking to me, and just… too much stuff going on. I’m reading this book on Stoicism, and I’m trying to expand that into my own life and not let this bother me so much. I don’t necessarily agree with all of Stoicism, but there are definitely some good things, there. It is, however, complicated to read, since there are lots of thorny vocabulary words and sentence structures. Still, it seems like it will be valuable for me, and it seems like it’s kind of short, so I’m making good progress despite reading slowly to make sure I understand everything. There is also the matter of struggling to keep my calm with people in the lunch room, who are incredibly loud and annoying. My implementation is not always successful.

I’ve been thinking more about accepting the discomfort for trying to accomplish my goals… maybe by taking classes again. I suppose I should more thoroughly research the herbal college that’s nearby and what the program entails and would cost. I suppose it might not even end up being something I want to pursue, depending on what the deal is, but I should stop waiting for things to get just so, and just start doing things.